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Dealing With TESTS From Women

***QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi David,

I attended your first seminar in LA and it was a real
eye opener for me. I've listened to the advanced CD
series 2 times since then and each time I'm learning
something new. I've noticed that the trick is to go
out and gain experience meeting more women and then
come back and listen to the CDs again and you'll be
surprised how much more you're picking up. After
attending your seminar I'm now able to start a conversation
with a woman in a bookshop and get her to follow me
from there to another location to have coffee\tea
etc, and I'm now able to this on a CONSISTENT basis,
something I didn't think was possible before.

My question to you is regarding answering (or not
answering) questions from women. I now understand
that if you directly answer 'qualifying' questions
from a woman then you're accepting her qualifying
frame, which is VERY bad for attraction. But how
about questions that seem like she's genuinely trying
to get to know you better? Also how do handle it when
a woman says, "You never answer my questions..." and
then goes on and on about it? I've had this kind of
situation many times, I know it's a sh**-test but I
haven't found an effective way of dealing with it yet.

For an example of this kind of test please read the
chat below which is an excerpt from an online chat I
had recently. I met her online but we've spoken on
the phone several times, she lives in a different
country from me so we haven't been able to meet yet,
but plan to do so soon. Not so much for this particular
chick but I would like to know how to deal with this
kind of situation with any chick in future.

Tell me what you think, and if I handled her questions
(and accusations) properly and what I could have done
better.

With thanks.

Your loyal student.

G. (London, England)


==================messenger convo=================

[Good initial C&F conversation, then she asked the
question]
.
.
Her: how many girls have you met from online so far?
Me: 5000
Her: it's a minus, that u never answer to my
questions
Her: but it's true, that u never answer to my
questions
Me: really?
Her: hm...... every time I ask you something about
u....you just answer with a slapstick something
Me: You know my name, where I live, my age, where
I had the craziest sex etc etc
Me: you want more?
Me: wow! there are greedy people in this world
Me: still there?
Her: yes.... I was just thinking what to say
Me: aha you're lost for words
Her: I don't want you to get me wrong here......
Me: shoot away!
Her: but I have the impression that you don't want
to talk about your outlook on relationships....
Her: that sounds weird
Her: are you dating somebody right now?
Me: outlook on relationships?
Me: is this a marriage proposal... you've got to be
rich though
Me: and be able to tell a story for 40 days and 40
nights
Her: here it comes again..... no, I'm just interested
in getting to know you.....
Me: I like to get to know u too
Me: of course you've got to be a great story teller
Me: then the marriage will be ON
Her: so, then why is it so bad to ask maybe how long
your longest relationship was... or when u did get
out of the last one....
Me: you think it's bad?
Her: I really love fooling around and chatting
around....but I don't like it if I never get answers
to just normal not indiscreet questions
Me: Indiscreet... hmmm. Ask whatever questions you
want
Me: you'll get to know me as it goes
Her: I already did.... and I don't have a list to
write that down.... I just noticed that... last time
when you called me on the phone... and today, too......
every time I ask something about your past I get a slapstick
answer
Me: don't mind me that's how I talk. I'm playful
but we'll get to know each other as we go along
Me: it's a natural process
Me: you can't force it
Her: hey..... now you got me wrong..... see I didn't
want that
Me: want what?
Her: that you get this message the way you got it.....
I'm not that needy and I don't want to force anything.
Me: cool, I like that...
Me: needy people scare me
Me: I know you're not needy
Me: so when are u thinking of coming?
Her: I told you.... it would not be possible before
march because in Feb. I'm on training... and work...
and will have no (NO!!) day off the whole month
Me: working all month, not even free for the weekends?
Her: no....
Me: what training is it?
Her: especially not the weekends..... from march on I
will have a little bit more time (especially the
weekends)
Her: I worked on getting me free time on weekends
because I want to have a private life again one day....
Me: time to go out and stuff
Her: I'm doing my A-licence for aqua-training the
next 3 weeks, and then the last diploma for Pilates
Her: for example
Me: you're going to put me through some steps when
you get here
Her: put you through some steps?
Me: workouts... were you thinking of something
else... bad girl!
Her: no... I just wanted to know what you want to
learn...what where you thinking about
Me: whatever is nice and easy, anyway we'll see when
come
Me: what are you uo to next tonight
Me: up
Her: not much.... watch a movie maybe and then go to
bed.....
Me: ok, hope you get better wrap warm.
Me: I've got to hit the sack now
Me: tired from a long day at work
Her: do that.... and talk to you soon.... just
have to work 2 hours tomorrow night.... I need that
break, maybe I'll cancel that, too and stay in bed
Her: nite nite then......xx
Me: good night


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Great job!

It's good hearing from you, "G". I remember you
very clearly from the LA seminar... and I remember
the breakthrough you had.

Congratulations on getting to the next level. It's
exciting to hear that you can now go out to a bookstore
and get a woman to join you for tea on the spot on
a consistent basis. Nice!

On to your questions...

First of all, let's talk about the whole concept
of "testing", and why women do it (and, more importantly,
how to deal with it when it happens).

In a nutshell, "testing" is a woman's way of QUICKLY
finding out a lot of information with a very small
investment.

You must remember that beautiful women are being
approached ALL THE TIME in one way or another... just
about every man they meet tries to pick them up or
come on to them.

Women can FEEL this happening, even before it actually
starts.

Now, if a woman is "available", she must figure
out a way to "separate the men from the boys" so to
speak, and figure out if a particular man is going
to be worth her time.

Enter the TEST.

Also, if an attractive woman is out on a date with
a man, or having a phone conversation, etc. (or anything
else that could be perceived as taking things to the
next level) she must find out quickly whether this
particular guy is:

1) Long-term relationship material
2) Short-term "affair" material
3) Friend material
4) Wuss material
5) The Gimp from Pulp Fiction

Keep in mind, a beautiful woman has LOTS of options.
She's being approached probably 100+ times a month
with date offers, etc. and could never hope to spend
even a small fraction of her time with all the men
who are interested in her.

She must use TESTS to quickly cut to the chase
and find out what a particular guy is REALLY all about.

Tests can take many forms.

Here are a few common ones:

1) Canceling plans with little notice, or flaking
out entirely without notice

2) Asking for gifts or favors outright

3) Acting snotty, demanding, dramatic, or manipulative
to see if you'll put up with it

4) Asking or telling you to change your behavior

5) Threatening to leave or take her attention and
give it to someone else if you don't comply with her
wishes

...and the list goes on.

As you already know, women often use more SUBTLE
tests as well.

For instance, complaining that you don't answer
her directly, to see if you will.

Or telling you that what you're doing is annoying
to her.

In your email, you wrote...

"But how about questions that seem like she's genuinely
trying to get to know you better? Also how do handle
it when a woman says, "You never answer my questions..."
and then goes on and on about it? I've had this kind
of situation many times, I know it's a sh**-test but
I haven't found an effective way of dealing with it
yet."

...well, the good news for you is that you know
a guy who has had this happen A LOT more times to
him...and that person is ME!

And the "effective" way to deal with it is to keep
doing exactly what you're doing.

The "problem" here is how you're interpreting the
situation.

My guess is that all of the problems you're having
around this issue come from the fact that you "see"
it as a problem... not because there actually IS a
problem.

Here's a little chunk of the dialogue that you
included with your email...


Her: I really love fooling around and chatting around....
but I don't like it if I never get answers to just
normal not indiscreet questions

Me: Indiscreet... hmmm. Ask whatever questions you
want

Me: you'll get to know me as it goes

Her: I already did.... and I don't have a list to
write that down.... I just noticed that... last time
when you called me on the phone... and today, too......
every time I ask something about your past I get a
slapstick answer

Me: don't mind me that's how I talk. I'm playful but
we'll get to know each other as we go along

Me: it's a natural process

Me: you can't force it


...OK.


The way I read this, you GAVE IN when she started
complaining, and said "...don't mind me that's how
I talk...".

You basically said "Don't mind me, I'm actually
kind of a Wuss, and that's how I talk".

Are you with me here?

You didn't need to EXPLAIN yourself, or make an
excuse for yourself.

What I'm trying to say is that YOU are the problem
here, not the women who complain about you not answering
their questions.

Try this instead:


Her: I already did.... and I don't have a list to
write that down.... I just noticed that... last time
when you called me on the phone... and today, too......
every time I ask something about your past I get a
slapstick answer

Me: I'm glad you like it. Maybe that's why you keep
messaging me and thinking about me so much!


...see the difference here?

If a woman complains because you're being difficult,
LAUGH. Pretend you're a bad little boy on the school
playground, and you just pulled her hair... and she's
upset with you...

What would the little boy do?

He'd laugh... and then snap her bra!

Keep things fun. Don't let her change your direction
or upset your mood.

You absolutely CANNOT turn into a Wuss and start
explaining yourself.

There's ALWAYS a better way to do things.

For example...

Let's say you've decided that the woman you're
talking to is really starting to get annoyed, and
you want to give her a little chunk of info.

Instead of saying "Don't mind me", say "OK, I'm
27 years old, I work for an accounting firm, I pay
my own rent, I wear socks that match, and I love my
mom... is that better? How boring is that?"

In other words, TELL HER what she wants to know,
but say it in a sarcastic way that also says "Fine,
you're boring and since you can't think of anything
fun to talk about, I'll answer you... Brat".

Keep in mind... this whole style of communication
is VERY different from what most guys do... and it's
often surprising to a woman.

When she kicks and screams a bit, it's usually
because she's genuinely surprised. But don't mistake
her whining for REAL resistance.

If she actually gets upset and doesn't want to
talk to you anymore just because you didn't answer
her questions, and instead busted her balls a bit,
then let her go. You learned something VERY valuable,
and you didn't even have to marry her to learn it.

Also, when a woman starts resisting your evasive
and humorous comments...

...LAUGH!

Have fun.

You need to learn to enjoy yourself during this
process. It sounds to me like you're letting this
stuff get to you... which is NOT useful.

By the way... there was something you said to this
girl that I absolutely LOVED...


Her: are you dating somebody right now?

[deleted comment that was out of sync]

Me: is this a marriage proposal... you've got to be
rich though


...this is great!

She asks if you're dating someone, and you ask
her if she's proposing! And then you said "You've
got to be rich, though".

Now THAT'S the right way to answer a question
like that one.

Nice!

To finish, I'm going to do something a little bit
unconventional, and include another email that I just
received from a guy in Australia (He has the same
first initial as you... I wonder if there's a relation...).

Read this:

"You ROCK,

Since I am new to your publication I am unsure if
you get much mail from Australia.

What a difference a week makes. Last Saturday I had
a date with a great young lady. Smart, sexy, beautiful
etc. Well the 1st date didn't go to badly, some passionate
kissing and fun, but when it came time to try to take
her top off, the answer was a firm NO. That is where
the night ended.

Mustn't have been too bad cause I got a follow up
date the next Friday, but I also got the cold(ish)
shoulder. What she didn't know is I got you book
on Wednesday. Wow, what a difference. I realised
she was lining me up for the hoop jumping as a potential
"long term relationship" and sex was at least three
dates away-way too far.

She was playing games, but your book came to the rescue.
When i phoned her to make the date, she said "I will
PENCIL you in". Well in my old ways I would have said
"Yeah sure", but there is a new Greg with Double Your
Dating Power. When she tried the line I came back with
"Well let me know. I am a busy man, if you can't make
it, I need to know-NOW."

When I picked her up, she kissed me on the cheek (after
playing tonsil hockey the week before, was a little
strange). So I put your strategies into play.

I didn't touch her for 4 hours, didn't hit on her,
didn't look at her, was very standoffish. Went out
of my way to point out her strange behaviour. At
one stage I called her "A walking contradiction".
When she went down the "But it will change our friendship
if we take this further (read long term relationship)
path-I said "That's fine, I just want to have a little
FUN."

When I finally did kiss her she melted. Only for me
to stop after about 45 seconds. I then didn't touch
her again for about 1/2 an hour.

She finally took her own top off (I couldn't budge
it 6 days before) and then she said "I will make you
a deal, if I take a piece of clothing off, then you
must take one off as well. She was chasing me!!!!

Well we undresses and had a great time for about three
hours. Afterwards, she invited me out! Love your stuff.
Must go and re-read your wonderful words again. I can't
wait to get the DVD's.

Regards,


G.

ps So if any of you want to come over here, know it
works and works really well. And there are plenty
of great looking women.

G."


...OK, so I included this story because I wanted
to demonstrate a different aspect of testing, and
of "passing" this kind of testing with FLYING colors.

Often, a woman will test you by RESISTING you,
or by telling you that "things are moving too fast"
or even by asking you what your intentions are with
her long term (when you've only known her a short
while, and have no intentions of any kind).

What this gentleman above did was to SEE her bet,
and then RAISE her.

He called her bluff, basically.

WOMEN LOVE THIS!

It INSTANTLY shifts the power from one side to
the other, and totally changes the situation around.

Points I'd like to comment on:

1) The first time you saw her, you kissed. When you
tried to take off her top, the answer was a "firm
NO".

>>>The reason why the answer was a "firm NO" was because
you gave her something to resist. Instead of amplifying
the ATTRACTION in the situation, and building the
ANTICIPATION, you just went for it. Next time, you'll
know better.

2) The second time you saw her, you didn't do anything
that even LIGHTLY indicated that you were interested
in her.

>>>Great job! This is perfect. Most guys can't go
four MINUTES without screwing things up by trying
to kiss a woman, asking her how she's feeling, or
doing some other Wuss Bag thing that blows everything.
You were able to stay cool and calm for FOUR HOURS...
and allow the tension to build. I guarantee you that
she was wondering what the hell was going on.


3) When you finally did kiss her, you STOPPED after
45 seconds... then didn't do anything else for a half
hour.

>>>Again, great move. Perfect. It doesn't surprise
me at ALL that she took her own top off, then told
you that you had to take something off as well. This
is what happens when you understand the process by
which women test... and the process by which women
become sexually aroused.

...thanks for the email.


Now, in this newsletter I've focused on the topic
of TESTING. I've also discussed amplifying attraction,
and eliminating resistance from women.

The reason that these two guys who wrote in are
doing so well right now is because they understand
something that most guys DON'T understand.

They "get it".

And, like most of the people I've met in life who
are trying to be the best they can be, they're always
looking to improve. They're continuing to educate
themselves, even though they have a level of success
that most men would envy.

It took me about three or four YEARS to finally
"get it", and to have total confidence that I could
go out anywhere, anytime, and meet women.

That was partly because I couldn't find any good
models to learn from... and partly because I had to
"unlearn" a lot of bad programming I had obtained
along the way.

The reason I wrote my original eBook "Double Your
Dating" was because I wanted to be able to help other
guys out there to understand how to be successful
with women and dating... without having to go through
all the hassles and wasted time that I had to deal
with.

My Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program is
the natural extension...

It allowed me to go "deep" and spend a lot more
time teaching the "inner game", as well as the "outer
game" and specific techniques for meeting and dating
women. It also allowed me the opportunity to interview
some of the guys I know who are REALLY good with women...
and get them to share many of the great ideas that
I learned from them that helped me become successful.

In other words, my eBook and Advanced Program are
the BEST. They're what I wish I would have had when
I started learning this stuff... and they probably
would have saved me YEARS of my time, and a lot of
frustration.

I invite you to check them out.

You can download my online eBook and be reading
it within a few minutes here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingAdvice.com/e/eBook/


I'll talk to you again soon!

Your Friend,

David D.

What Women Want... and Other Things That Us Guys Will Never Really Know

"What Women Want... and Other Things That Us Guys Will Never Really Know"

I want to take a moment to make a couple of things clear before we get into the mailbag.

1) I don't believe that all women are the same. Even though I sometimes sound like it because I tend to generalize, I believe that there are some really wonderful women out there...

But in general, I think that most women in our culture (I live in America) have certain socially programmed ideas and ways of dealing with men.

In addition to that, I'm also convinced that women are wired differently from birth... and in such a way that causes a very complex set of drives, desires, goals, and even ways of dealing with the world.

I don't claim to be a relationship expert.

I teach men how to be more successful with women and dating... not women and marriage.

My perspective is that too many men who want a great, fulfilling long term relationship wind up settling for one that's not satisfying... just because they don't know how to get any different or better.

If you want to find a really exceptional girl to have a relationship with, you're probably going to have to meet several dozen women to get to her. And by mastering what it's taken me years to learn and figure out, you can get there a lot faster.

And of course, if you're at a point in your life where you just want to be free and single, and you want to meet a lot of women, that's great too. It's your life, so you'd better do something to enjoy it!

On with the mailbag...


***QUESTION***

"I have a great job, creative hobbies, well above average income, good health, reasonable looks,
community status, many friends, and a romantic and pleasant kind and gentle personality. Published songwriter, author, poet, an overachiever perhaps in hobbies, hi IQ, no vices, no smoking, no drugs, modestly religious. I live in a small ski and golf resort town in North California. I also happen to be 5'6" tall.

On 20/20 on TV they showed a program that revealed outrageous bias against short people in hiring and romance (I don't want short kids! she said) and they could not beg borrow buy or steal a woman to date a short guy. I this true, or am I just having bad luck in a small town? Yes I'm on net, but the respondents tend to be 1000 miles away or just foreigners trying to get citizenship. Any advice except "be patient" as friend tell me?

F."

>MY COMMENTS: Before I answer your question, I have to point out something... I beg to differ with you on the "no vices" thing. You like to talk too much about yourself! lol...

But seriously... yes, it seems that there is a bias towards taller people in this world. They are
perceived as smarter, more honest, harder working, more dominant... they make more money, they command more respect... and most of all...

If you think that just because this is true that you don't have a chance, you're wrong.

I'm really glad you wrote in, because I get this question a lot.

Here's my experience. I have no less than 5 friends who are all around 5'4 - 5'7, who ALL are VERY successful with women. And I don't just mean that these guys get a date once in awhile. I mean then go out with a LOT more women than most of the other guys I know.

And I can think of several guys I know who are over 6 feet tall that almost NEVER have women around them.

Just because a bias exists doesn't mean that it has to affect YOU negatively. If another guy is taller, then you can be more interesting. If you meet a girl that only dates taller men, say "next."

I've been dating a woman for quite awhile now who's taller than me. She likes taller guys herself. But do I care? Hell no.

You'd be much better off looking for all the reasons that women will PREFER you than looking at the biases against you.

And, most importantly, remember: Your personality is FAR more important than your looks in the long run.


***COMMENT***

"Dr. D,

As cheezy as it sounds, you've changed my life, buddy. I was VERY skeptical when I bought your book... thought it was an Internet scam. I've been studying your book for 6 months now, and KNOWLEDGE IS POWER....thanks for all the insight. Okay, enough 'penis petting'...eck. I wanted to write you and get your opinion of the movie "What Women Want" with Mel Gibson. Figured you'd have been the first guy to tackle it. Anyways, the movie kind of transforms Mel into this 'kiss-ass' for women, reading their minds and telling them what they want to hear. By doing this, he changes his image from a**hole to sensitive gay-guy friend, and women can't get enough of him! Interesting... anyways, the message that it portrays seems like it's the anti-christ of all that you stand for, Dave. Wanted to bring it to your attention. For the record, it WAS worth
watching....just like 'The Rules' was worth reading - as you mentioned in your book. Thanks again for your mailbags and all the pearls of wisdom! Keep up the good work.

-T"

>MY COMMENTS: Two things:

1) Don't ever say the words "penis petting" again.

2) I haven't seen the movie "What Women Want" yet, but from what I hear, you'd be better off learning how to pick up women from watching "Shallow Hal."

Of course, if you don't learn anything watching Shallow Hal, it's not a total loss. At least you'll learn a few cool dance moves.


***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

"Dear mr david,

well i'm sorry to tell you, that not all girls feel they need to have the guy pay for everything and have men "give" their power away to them, it might just be that this guy or guys, likes her pure and simple and they enjoy each others company...shes not conspiring against him in a plot for
destruction.....lol.

of course there may be others girls out there that is exactly like you described, but the way you sounded, it was like no matter who that girl was, they were all out to get the same thing

yours sincerely j."

>MY COMMENTS: You've made a great point. Not all women are like this. There are those rare women who are that perfect combination of mature and cool that are an absolute pleasure to spend time with.

And based on your response to me, you're probably one of them.

How would I know?

Because you've responded with a non-defensive, funny answer that goes straight to the point.

Think about how this woman comes across compared to the one who I responded to last week...

This here is a woman who wants to speak her mind, but doesn't need my approval one way or another. She's happy with her life, and want's to contribute. Take note.

And by the way, why didn't you ask me for my number?


***QUESTION***

"David,

I really need your help. I've been love with a girl I work with for about a year and a half. The problem was to begin with she had a boyfriend. Last summer she broke up with him because the guy is a real jerk. He hits on her and yells at her. He's very possessive and thinks everything should be his way. Well me and her went out a couple of times and we both had really a great time. She is amazing to me and I love her so much.

We never really talked about going out like (bf/gf) because we are really good friends and I didn't want to screw things up and not even be friends with her. She told a couple of her friends that she really did like me and would like to have a relationship with me. She never really talked to me about it though.

Then she gives me a letter saying she really does like me, but that I obviously don't feel the same and that she is going to get back with her old boyfriend. (I Should've Kicked Myself!) They have been back together since about October and it is driving me crazy. I can't stand seeing her with him, I don't understand why she went back with him after the way he treated her. She still flirts and we talk and spend time together at work, but then she said that He said he didn't like her being so close to me,and that she couldn't lie to him.

So we were kinda quiet for a while. Now we are back to really talking again and I just want to get her away from him. I can't stand him, He comes to our workplace and tries to sneak around and see her. I always find out though. It's just really bothering me because I really do care for her and don't want to see her hurt.

She doesn't seem as happy either she sits around and just stares sometimes and just seems unhappy. So tell me what you think into this matter. And any suggestions and advice you may have.

Thanks,

E."

>MY COMMENTS: Well, unfortunately for you, you're most likely in a situation that leaves you no way of winning.

Your story is painful to read. But it's a story that is played out every day, all over the world:

Woman stays with abusive jerk, and passes on nice, caring guy who would treat her like a princess.

And why does this happen?

I'll tell you why.

It's because she feels something inside of herself that she can't control, doesn't understand, and cannot stop.

It's called ATTRACTION.

Attraction isn't logical. Attraction doesn't make sense.
Attraction is not chosen.

And, worst of all, it often happens to women when they meet guys who are horrible to them.

Do yourself a favor, and go rent the old movie "A Streetcare Named Desire" with Marlon Brando.

That was the movie that put him on the map as a major sex symbol. While you're watching it, keep asking yourself "What could it be about this arrogant, uneducated, abusive guy who rapes his sister in law that women find IRRESISTABLY SEXY AND ATTRACTIVE?"

I know, I know... it's enough to make you say "Hm."

In any event, you would do well to learn the aspects of your personality that you can amplify and enhance so that women start showing this kind of attraction towards you. I know a good place to start...

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/

(Hint, hint)


***COMMENT***

"well dave,

this is my first letter to you but i guess there's good reason for me writing this. I recently had a devastating experience with a girl who i thought was "the one" LOL anyway, i went through the whole motion of being sick. i even resorted to begging...(what was i thinking!!) well anyway i started to read your emails and my confidence had shot up dramatically, using your tips iv been out with four girls in 2 months and they're all soooo hot!!

They're calling me back to go out and the girl who i though was the one she sees me all the time and i think the fact im happy seems to have shocked her....she seems interested again...luckily I'm not anymore!!! Haha

well anyway just thought id say thanx

youre a star"

>MY COMMENTS: Over the holidays, I saw a friend who has been having some problems with his girlfriend. I told him "If you were dating three other great women right now, you wouldn't be in turmoil, wondering what to do right now."

I admire you for admitting that you resorted to begging her to take you back. That's a tough one. I'm sure that there are a LOT of guys who can identify.

Next time this kind of thing happens, you'll respond a little differently, huh?

***QUESTION***

"Dave,

enjoying the emails very much and thinking about getting your book!

My question: I'm British, living in London, and I get the impression that you and your correspondents are in America.

I'm not sure how well your material is going to work over here, because of small but important differences in language, behaviour and culture.

Could you possibly tell me if you've addressed this question anywhere? Or if you've had feedback from any Brits?

Thanks again."

>MY COMMENTS: I'm glad you asked this question... I wrote this book based on my experiences here in the USA.

But since releasing my book, I've been selling more and more of them to guys all over the world.

I had two today... one from Denmark, and one from Australia. And I've had guys from just about everywhere you can think of order it and report back that this stuff works everywhere. You may have to tailor some things to your particular local style, but I'm becoming more and more convinced that the psychology is universal. And, of course if you're not happy with your purchase I offer a 100% no-questions-asked no-risk refund policy. If you're not happy with the materials, just email for a refund. But I'm confident that you'll be happy, and that you'll learn a lot of very valuable techniques.


***QUESTION***

In terms of places to pick up chicks, I agree bars and nightclubs are very difficult. My friends and I are athletic college age guys and have never had much success at bars. Nightclubs we do all right but parties and everyday places are the best for meeting girls cause they don't have their guards up and won't feel like a slut in front of their friends if they give you their number or go out with you that night or go home with you.

My question is why in your letters do you always insist on getting the email address. The good looking girls I know think that's unusually corny and pathetic when I guy hits on them and asks them for their email address or says he'll look it up on their school webpage directory.

Nevertheless getting the phone number seems like the way to go but how do you get it without coming off too aggressive (I realize getting the email's easy cause you don't come off as being aggressive or pushy, and then you casually tell em to throw their phone number down too, but at the same time it still seems kinda corny?)

any opinion I'd love to hear

J. who's looking to land a hottie."

>MY COMMENTS: Asking for email is actually very cool. Just don't ask with a whiny, unsure tone of voice.

"Hey, do you have email?"

It's so easy.

Why do I like email?

Simple. Go out and get 10 phone numbers from women and then call them. 8 out of 10 times you'll get a machine. 5 or 6 out of 8 times you leave a message you won't get a call back. (I'm guessing based on a lot of personal experience)

Now go out and get 10 email addresses, and follow up a day later with a quick email. You'll get probably 6-8 of those back. No chasing women. No calling ten times. No messages. It's great. Try it, you'll like it.

And once you have an email relationship, a woman will be MUCH warmer towards you when you do talk and meet again.

(In my book I give exact words to use when you follow up by email, and exactly what to do on page 81)


***QUESTION***

"What kind of stuff/subjects does a guy have to talk about to a girl if he wants to attract a girl he has just met, and also to make girls enjoy your company, in other words what kind of subjects make girls laugh and hence always look forward to your company?"

>MY COMMENTS: Talk about ANYTHING other than what you do for a living, where you grew up, where you went to school, who you know, and where you live.

Try talking about current affairs in a cocky, funny way. Make fun of the worlds most famous people in an entertaining way.

Say "So don't you just love that new Britney Spears song 'I'm A Slave 4U'? I love it when she says "All you people look at me like I'm a little girl..." I mean, every time I look at her with her pubic area hanging out of her low cut jeans that's exactly what I'm thinking."

Or... "How much says Michael Jordan insists on a Pre-Nuptial agreement next time?"

Once again, the magic formula: Cocky+Funny


***COMMENT***

"Thanks a million Dave. Since I began to use these methods success has been very easy. Women I have been wanting for years before are now wanting me. I transfered the frustration that comes along with the confusion of not knowing if a person is interested or not, has the power,
and etc etc etc.... A guy at my age with the knowledge that I have about women has a hell of a good forecast.

With your methods and my personality I feel complete when it comes to dating women. One of the biggest problems I have is guys who hate that fact that I have it good with ALL women.

However, I want to comment on last weeks****EMAIL OF THE WEEK, FROM A WOMAN**** I hate people such as her. Obviously, she thinks she know everything about the damn world but in reality she does not know sh**. (excuse my language) I bet some lame guy has filled her head up with nonsense. To top it off, at the end she goes, "You can't have my digits" uh! I bet she was thinking, "I just burst his bubble " and "I bet he is just like every other guy I know that has a GED. He will believe me and began to want me" That was very funny."

>MY COMMENTS: Thanks for the support. We all know she wants me... lol. You know, I never did hear back from her...


***COMMENT***

"Hi,

I'm not quite sure how I got on your mailing list, but I have enjoyed reading your e-mails. However, It is rather obvious that your "reader's letters" are contrived by you for the purpose of writing on a specific issue. All the letters begin by describing the success they have realized since buying your book, followed by a situation YOU wish to address. This tactic is an interesting
marketing ploy, and I'm sure it is very effective, congratulations!

So I have a challenge for you, include this letter (along with the appropriate bashing) in your next e-mail, and I will take your advise more seriously.

D."

>MY COMMENTS: lol... well, you asked for it...

I don't invent ANY of the letters that I include in my Mailbag, Q&A, or anything else. They are all real. As a matter of fact, my biggest problem is that I get WAAAYYY too much email, and I have a lot of people that get upset every week because their letters aren't included!

I would say that I get in the neighborhood of 1,000 emails a month right now, and I have to skim them to find interesting content for my newsletters.

Here's why I include so many testimonials:

1) It's important to me that my readers hear from people who are using the materials and getting results. This encourages them to keep learning and improving.

2) I like it when a person tells me what's working for them, and then asks a question. If you want to improve your chances of getting into the mailbag, tell me how you're doing first, then ask your question.


***QUESTION***

"Dave, you should get a nobel prize or something, you're techniques are pure genious. I always had a funny attitude and I think I was a little cocky to begin with so I had a leg up on the competition. You're tips really helped me though, I talk to any girl I want comfortably and I always usually know what to say to get them laughing. With your book on my side, I'm invincible. Anyway, I have a few questions so let me begin... 1) I just broke up with my
girlfriend (on good terms) and while I'm done moping around (C'mon guys I know you all went through that stage) I sure wouldnt mind getting back together with her and by the sounds of what here friends say she wouldn't mind either. Can you give me some tips on talking to her again and trying to form that mystique that would draw her in?

2) Could you just add in some more of those funny first comments that can make a lady puddy in your (my) hands?

Thanks a bunch,

J."

>MY COMMENTS: Speaking of contrived-sounding compliments...
Thank you.

To answer your questions, if I were you, I would remember that NOT BEING PREDICTABLE is very attractive. So as you're learning how to be cocky and funny, remember that this girl has certain expectations of you. Start doing things that she doesn't expect, and responding differently than you did before... while acting more like a challenge.

As far as what to say to a woman that will make her turn into "puddy in your hands"...

I think "putty" is spelled with two t's, isn't it?

Whatever.

I would focus more on the "how" than the "what." In other words, you need to learn how to say ANYTHING in a way that causes a woman to feel attracted to you.

You need to learn to say things in a way that is both slightly arrogant and DAMN FUNNY at the same time. If you can get a woman saying in her mind "This guy is a little bit too confident... but he's really funny. I can't tell if he's serious or not" then you've got it. Think about it.

I'll let you know when they call me about the Nobel Prize for my book. You never know... could happen.

"Uhhhh... Uhhhhh Hey Beavith, check out thith kool medal I got for teaching guys how to pick up chicks!"

"Yea Yea! Kool!"

OK, enough childish humor...

As usual, if you haven't taken advantage of my downloadable eBook "Double Your Dating" then I'd HIGHLY recommend that you do that now. Everything will make more sense after you read it. It also comes with three free bonus booklets that will teach you all about personalities that are attractive to women, how to turn women on sexually, and how to go from one step to the next when it's time to get physical. Go to:

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ebook/

...now and download your copy. You'll love it.

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D

A "Secret" Body Language Women Find Irresistible

A "Secret" Body Language Women Find Irresistible

If you'd like to take a look at all of the different programs I've created to help you learn how to meet women... plus watch video clips of each of them, just go here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/Catalog

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hello Dave,

I want to say thank you for the Advanced CD Series.

The more I listen to it, the more I get out of it. Its like when you watch a movie about 53 times, you'll always find something new that you didn't notice the previous times you watched it. When I first invested on your book, I thought that it was fantastic chic bible, now that I've invested in the CD Series, I understand more of what you talk about in the book. The DVD Series is next...as soon as I get the ins...lol.

Anyway, to my question. You talk about how body language will affect the moment, if you will, while conversing with a woman. Perhaps I still do not understand how the process works, or maybe its
just one of those things that men aren't supposed to understand, but if you're talking with a woman, oh lets say at a baseball game, somewhere where friends may spot you, and you wonder off to your friends without her as if "you don't care," you say it is creating tension between the two of you,
because she's wondering "where the hell did he go?" but is that not creating some sort of negative body language in a way at the same time?

A little help understanding this will greatly be appreciated, Dave. I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't capture this concept. Thanks again. D. Yuma, Arizona

MY COMMENTS:

Thanks for your email, this is a great question.

I think that the reason you don't "get" this particular concept is because you're trying to fit what I'm teaching you into your way of seeing the world, instead of the other way around.

You're looking for how I'm WRONG instead of how I'm RIGHT.

And I'll bet you dimes to dollars that you have not spent much time TESTING what you've learned in the real world.

I can sit here all day long and explain to you what it's like to drive a car. I can tell you how it's different steering a car when you're driving 5 miles per hour than it is when you're driving 55 miles per hour... and how it's different to back up because you have to think in reverse...

...and you could ask me questions like "Well, how do you mean it's "backwards" when you back up? Wouldn't it just feel the same?" and "Wouldn't it be distracting to turn your windshield wipers on while it's raining and you're trying to drive?"...

...and I could answer all of your questions...

...OR...

...you could just get in a damn car and go see what it's like to drive!

If you want to "capture this concept" you need to get out in the real world and DO IT.

In your example above, you asked if you're also creating "some sort of negative body language" at the same time by walking away from a woman.

What do you mean by "negative"?

And if it WORKS, WHO CARES?

Do you mean that if you walk away from a girl that you're talking to, are you going to make her think you don't like her?

GOOD, if she thinks that. Who cares?

If you walk away from a woman because you want to go talk to your friends, it's HER DEAL if she doesn't like it. Not yours.

If, on the other hand, you see your friends, but DON'T go talk to them because you don't want to offend the girl you're talking to, you're going to probably also give her several clues that you're a WUSSBAG, and that you don't have any spine or life of your own... and that you like to live in a way that pleases other people.

And guess what?

That is NOT an attractive quality.

Look...

Everything is a trade-off in one way or another.

Everything involves risk.

Everything you do can backfire.

Most guys are painfully aware of these issues.

But, the problem is that most guys take this knowledge and use it the WRONG WAY.

Instead of doing what WORKS, and not caring if it "backfires" or "fails" in that particular situation, they do the "safe" thing.

Of course, anytime you "play it safe" around an attractive woman by being a "nice guy" and trying to "follow her lead" you are almost ABSOLUTELY going to do something that's going to backfire on you MOST of the time.

In other words, by playing it safe and being a "nice" guy, you won't get any "negative" responses or "rejection" in the moment.

But, she's NEVER going to feel ATTRACTION for you, either (unless you look like Brad Pitt, or you're in ColdPlay).

The answer?

Before I tell you, I want to suggest that you don't understand one other KEY element of creating ATTRACTION with a woman. And you can learn about that key element by going HERE:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/OnBeingAMan


Stop worrying about "failing" or doing something that doesn't work.

It doesn't MATTER if you "fail" in a particular situation.

You didn't have anything ANYWAY.

If you want to succeed with attractive women, you're going to have to realize that things don't work the way they SHOULD work.

Attraction doesn't happen when you're a "nice, appropriate boy."

Here's an example of "being nice" vs. being a guy who lives in his own reality and does what he wants to do:

You're talking to a girl, and you decide that you like her.

You want to get her phone number and call her sometime.

Nice guy says, "Um, maybe you could give me your number, and I could call you sometime and take you out".

Guy who lives in his own reality says, "Give me your number" with a tone of voice and body language that is EXPECTING her to comply.

But, you might say, "Hey, wait a minute here... if you just try and tell her what to do and ASSUME that she's going to go along and give you her number, she might be offended."

Guess what?

You're right.

But, if she's offended, then she wasn't going to go out with you anyway.

On the other hand, if she WAS going to go out with you, the direct "Give me your number" will make her FAR MORE attracted to you.

Make sense?

In other words, the things that work BEST will get you MUCH BETTER and MUCH WORSE reactions from women.

Women who have boyfriends, are married, are lesbians, or whatever will RUN away... (that is, if they can overcome their emotional attraction to your communication style).

And women who are available and interested will only feel MORE attracted to you because you are just naturally assuming that you're going to get what you want.

If you really take the time to think about it, and think through the different scenarios, you'll realize that being direct and assumptive will work better in the long run.

Now, let's talk a bit about the specifics of what it "says" to a woman when you "walk away" from her in a situation like the one you've described...

You're talking to her for five minutes. She's laughing and you're being Cocky & Funny... you're teasing her, she's responding by hitting you and opening her mouth with the "Oh-no-you-didn't-just-say-that" look.

You see your friends.

You say, "Hey, good talking to you... I'm going to go talk to my friends" and you walk away.

What happens?

Does she think, "That jackass! I'm so offended that he didn't ask for my number!"?

Does she say to her friend, "That guy is stupid because he could have gotten my number and he didn't even ask for it"?

Does she immediately walk away and leave?

No, probably not.

In fact, what she will MOST LIKELY do, if you were being interesting and attractive, is think to herself "What just happened? Why did he leave? Should I go with him and keep talking to him? Should I just leave because he probably doesn't like me? Did I say something wrong?"

In other words, she's going to stand there thinking about YOU and what she can do to start the conversation again.

Really.

Is this creating some kind of "negative tension"?

Yes, it is.

But, it's not the kind of negative tension that makes situations with women go BAD.

It's the OTHER KIND. It's the kind that leads to SEXUAL TENSION and CHEMISTRY.

Now, the BEST thing you can do in a situation like this one is to say "Hey, I'm going to get back to my friends over there... good talking to you..." and then turn to walk away.

Right after you've "broken the connection" and she's starting to go into the "what just happened and why is he leaving" mode, you turn BACK around and say "Hey, do you have email?"... then go into the 3 minute email/number technique that I talk about in my ebook and Advanced Series.

Get it?

Another important thought...

When you have to "say" something about who you are as a man, how interesting you are, or how much she should feel attracted to you with WORDS, it automatically creates doubt... because if it was true, then you wouldn't need to SAY it.

It would be OBVIOUS.

In other words, the best way to communicate all of the most IMPORTANT things is through your BODY LANGUAGE.

What most guys try to do is CONVINCE a woman to feel ATTRACTION by telling her all kinds of things about themselves and trying to subtly drop little hints about making money, driving a cool car, etc.

BORING.

And worse, it usually BACKFIRES.

Women can smell the "I'm actually insecure, so I am trying to cover up for it by bragging" rap a mile away.

It makes them RUN (unless they're out to use you for free food and entertainment).

If you want to say all the right things in the shortest possible time, then you need to learn how to communicate with body language and voice tone ALONE.

WHAT you say isn't very important at all.

It really isn't.

HOW you say it is EVERYTHING.

Go back through your copy of my Advanced Series and notice all of the subtle body language points that I make, and think about what you've just read... it will pull everything together for you.

As you probably know, I also have a complete program that's dedicated to teaching you how to use Body Language to create ATTRACTION.

I highly recommend that you go and get yourself a copy of that program. It will help you out TREMENDOUSLY. You can check out some video clips of it here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/BodyLanguage


Oh, and if you're reading this right now and you would like to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you, then you need to check out my Advanced Dating Techniques DVD/CD program.

I spend a lot of time going over the specifics of how to communicate beliefs, status, and self-image in a way that really triggers the "attraction mechanism" inside of women. I'll give you a great introduction on how to use Body Language as well.

This material isn't available anywhere else, in any program, at any price...

This is part of what makes my program unique... and when you see the body language of some of my special guests, you'll immediately "get it", and begin to understand how you need to modify your own body language to trigger ATTRACTION with women... rather than triggering FRIENDSHIP.

...and if you haven't downloaded your copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating" yet, then you need to do that immediately. You can download it right now and be reading it within just a few minutes. It's here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

P.S. Make sure you take a few minutes and look at the entire list of programs I've put together to help you MASTER this area of your life called "women and dating." You can see them all here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/Catalog