Kissing Women And Using Humor

***QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hey Dave!

I am an avid reader of your newsletters and mailbags ...this stuff literally blew me away. I also have your e-book. I had never seen or read any other "dating expert" use the word "attraction"...period! They never mention it in anything they write yet it is the MOST IMPORTANT thing that determines your success with women. Out of literally dozens of articles and e-books from so-called "dating pros", the word "attraction" just doesn't ever come up! I even read in one e-book that to attract women you need to get a golden tan. I was like: "What the hell? That's not the key to attracting women you dummy! Besides, what if you cant tan?!!"

When attraction is imminent, women try to be with you and chase you. If attraction is not there,
they make up excuses and try to avoid you. This is so simple... yet so easy to understand but many guys who haven't read your eBook miss this vital point and thus waste time on women that aren't interested! Attraction is EVERYTHING! That is why anyone reading this that hasn't bought your e-book or your Advanced CD series should do it IMMEDIATELY! It's definitely worth the investment. In fact it will pay you back over the rest of your life because you will be so much better with women! Don't pay hundreds of dollars or waste time on the other material that's out there...buy Dave's materials! Ok, Dave, I'm sure your head has grown 10 times as big now and since I'm not getting paid for making you a few extra sales, so I'll quit now! But really, buy the stuff...it's excellent! It's things in there you have never heard of before that is so critical to your failure or success with women!

Anyhow, that was my insight on how great your material is...now I have a question aboutsomething I read in your mailbag previously that really stood out to me. It was the one about the
guy who said "Can I kiss you" to a woman that was getting out of the car as he dropped her off. I
thought saying "Can I kiss you?" was wussified behavior? That didn't sound like something you can say without looking like a needy dork but the guy said it worked for him and he got the kiss anyhow. Did I miss something here? Explain that Dave. Also, have you learned of any other "Kiss Tests" like the one on your site?

GT from Nashville

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, thanks for the shameless advertisement for my ebook and Advanced Series. I'm glad you're having success with the material.

I'd like to comment on your observation that there's no one teaching guys about ATTRACTION...

I noticed this exact same thing when I was first learning about how to meet and date women.

It took me probably two years of trying things before I finally realized that there was something else going on with women that NO ONE was talking about. Finally, I realized that this magic something was an EMOTION.

Women don't meet men and say to themselves "Well, he's my physical type, he has a good job,
he dresses himself pretty well, and he looks like he's good in bed... I think I'll TURN ON MY
ATTRACTION for him..."

No way.

There's something that happens to a woman, usually in an INSTANT, that sparks the "Chemistry"or "Sexual Tension" or "Attraction." And then, if the man knows how to build that tension and AMPLIFY the EMOTION called ATTRACTION that the woman is feeling, there's a very good chance that they will get together.

If, on the other hand, a man does NOT understand this simple fact, and more importantly,
how ATTRACTION works, then no magic technique in the world will work consistently for him.

I've learned that ATTRACTION is EVERYTHING.

SO WHY HASN'T ANYONE FIGURED THIS OUT?

Well, I have a theory about that, too.

In a nutshell, I think that because men are sexually attracted primarily to LOOKS, they just
ASSUME that women must be the same way. We guys just simply never take the time and energy to figure out what women are actually attracted to... so we act like failures with women... and they treat us like failures.

And many of the guys I DO know who are good with women don't realize WHY what they do works so well. They just do what they do, and women are attracted to them. Most of them haven't taken the time to figure out that what they're doing is triggering the powerful emotion called ATTRACTION inside of women.

To finish my thought on this, you're right.

No one talks about ATTRACTION... and that's a problem, because if you don't "get" attraction, then it's going to be hard to "get" women to be interested in you.

Now, you asked a question at the end of your email.

You wanted to know if the guy who asked, "Can I kiss you?" was being a Wuss.

OK, I'm about to share a VERY, VERY powerful tool to use when you're interacting with women...

*** Before I share this secret, I want to mention that if you want to get a SERIOUS education on the topic of attraction, check out my eBook "Attraction Isn't A Choice." You can download it
right here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AttractionBook

When I tell you what it is, you're probably going to say, "That doesn't sound important"...
but IT IS.

Trust me on this one.

When you asked your question in the way that you asked it, you indicated to me that you MISSED WHAT WAS GOING ON. You missed the point of the question.

One of the things I tell guys to do is TEASE women.

Teasing can mean one of a couple of things.

Teasing can mean starting to kiss her, then stopping, starting, then stopping... over and over
again. In this context it's usually considered a good, pleasurable thing.

For instance, if you kiss a woman gently, then pull away... then do it again... then again... and
you can tell that she wants more, but you're not giving it to her, you're teasing her.

Also, teasing can mean "poking fun".

An example would be saying, "Wow, those are some tall shoes. What, are you like three feet
tall without them?"

Think of how you used to tease girls on the school playground when you were a kid.

That's a different kind of teasing.

Now, BOTH kinds of teasing are great to use with women who you have a romantic interest in...

Let's talk about the "Can I kiss you?" example for a minute.

As you might remember, it went something like this:

He waited for a moment when it was clear to him that it would be OK to kiss her. She wanted it.
Then he said...

Him: "Can I kiss you?" Her: "Yes" Him: "OK, I'll make sure to do that."

At this point, she said "Right"... and leaned in to kiss HIM!

What happened here?

What happened was a little bit of GENIUS. That's what happened.

He was TEASING HER. He was doing something that, at first glance was kind of Wuss/Nice Guy thing to do. But remember, he had so much momentum built up, that this little "slip" was perceived by her as OK. In fact, he had so much momentum and ATTRACTION built up that she WANTED IT.

He says, "Can I kiss you?", she says, "Yes", then he TEASES her by saying, "OK, I'll make sure to do that."

Yeah!

In that moment, she realizes that his Wuss behavior was actually a JOKE, and that he was
actually MESSING with her and teasing her.

And at that point she leaned over and kissed HIM.

Now, let me share something that I made up that I have used with women on many occasions...

Let's say I'm out and I meet a girl walking down the street, and I get her email and phone
number.

We send a couple of emails back and forth, then we get on the phone.

Because I'm always teasing and busting balls, I KNOW that she's enjoying it and interested in
me... so in that first phone conversation I'll say:

Me: "You know, I was telling my mom about you today" Her: "Really?" Me: "NO, you dork! Why would I tell my MOM about you? Get over yourself!"

Are you with me?

Remember, I'm being charming, Cocky, Funny, and unpredictable from the start... and I KNOW that she's enjoying it. The tension is building, even as we have our first phone conversation.

So I then say something that just plain doesn't fit ("I was telling my mom about you today?"). She says, "Really?" in a half flattered/half surprised way, wondering what's going on.

I then pause to build up the suspense.

As the pause is happening, and she's starting to think to herself, "Uh oh, he really likes me",
I drop the "No, you dork! Why would I tell my MOM about you? Get over yourself!" line.

It's funny, confusing, and a HUGE tease.

It usually gets a huge laugh... and it communicates that I not only "get" what's going
on, but I'm so confident that I'll tease her about
it.

Now, this is what you might call an "advanced" move.

If you don't know how to tell if a woman is attracted to you, how to spark attraction, how to
amplify the attraction, and how to move from one step to the next, you're just going to sound like
a dumb ass when you say something like this... because you'll say it at the wrong time, or you'll
say it to a woman who isn't very interested in you... which will make things WORSE instead of
better.

I hope you hear what I'm saying.

One of the GREATEST things you can learn is how to use SUBTLE humor with women to IMPLY what you're thinking without actually SAYING it directly.

As I say in my ebook, "Double Your Dating" and in my Advanced CD/DVD Program, men take things literally and women are always interpreting... they're always trying to figure out what
everything you're saying and doing "REALLY MEANS".

Communicating with women on a "sexual" level is a skill that you must learn and develop... and thankfully ANY man can learn how.

Once you learn this new "language," you'll start to experience women in a whole new way.
You'll be sending and receiving signals in a language that you never even knew about.

And it's FUN!

And the best part is that WOMEN WILL REALLY APPRECIATE and ENJOY the fact that you actually know how to communicate with them.

You need to go back through these materials and pay attention to the SUBTLE things that I'm
saying, and start to really pay attention to the details of how you communicate with women. You
won't believe how much fun you can have.

And if you haven't yet invested in my eBook and Advanced CD/DVD series, then you need to do that. Both come with a "stupid-proof" guarantee... try BEFORE you buy... and both take your dating success through the roof.

You will not find a better education on women and dating ANYWHERE... at ANY price.

The eBook is here for download:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook

The Advanced Dating Techniques Program is here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries

I'll talk to you again soon!

Your Friend,

David D.


P.S. Don't forget to check out all of my different programs in my online catalog. You can see them
all, plus watch video clips of every one of them right here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/Catalog

5 Conversation Killers You Must Avoid When Talking to Women

After coaching a lot of guys over the years (on how to be successful with women) and watching them interact with women in real-life environments, Ben, Stu and Dan have identified many things that will instantly KILL a guy's conversation with a woman.


In The Ultimate Guide to Conversation they've boiled the list down to 16 conversation killers and cover each of them in detail in the program. Today, I'm going to talk about 5 of those conversation killers that could save you from blowing your next opportunity with a woman you like!



1. Not using enough humor

Everyone likes to have a good laugh, true?

Laughing makes you feel happy, alive and present in your life. It reminds you to not take everything so seriously. When it comes to having a conversation with a woman, humor is the fastest way to make her FEEL GOOD and want to keep talking with you. Naturally, if a woman doesn't feel good, fun, positive, happy emotions when talking to you then she is going to get bored and seek stimulation elsewhere.

Unlike us men who may enjoy talking for hours about technical and intelligent topics (e.g. science, technology, finance, investing, property, politics, philosophy, sport statistics, cars, etc), when it comes to the DATING process and working out whether or not they like you - women want to you to talk about things that make them feel FUN, positive and desirable EMOTIONS.

Without the use of humor, the amount of emotion you can make a woman feel by what you're saying is very limited. This is why you often hear women saying, "I want a guy who can make me laugh."

So, what's the trick to being funny and using humor to make women laugh and feel good around you?

Humor is best when it is made up on the fly, while you are being real in the moment and listening to what is being said (and not said). To make sure that you completely understand how to use humor when talking to women, they've included 100+ examples throughout The Ultimate Guide to Conversation.

As you use those examples in your conversations with women, you will quickly understand how humor works and will instantly feel more comfortable cracking your own jokes in the moment. Best of all, the type of humor they teach is guaranteed to make women attracted to you.

One of the examples of humor from The Ultimate Guide to Conversation can be found in a section that includes 56 different conversation starters. Here's the story behind the humor example...

Stu was at a club one night and walked up to the bar to get a drink. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that the woman standing to his right began to primp and preen her hair. Assuming that she was doing that to look nicer in front of him, he turned to her, smiled and said, "Don't worry honey -- your hair looks fine...!"

She laughed and thanked him for the compliment (was it a compliment that Stu gave, or a bit of humor...or both?). Stu then continued by telling her about the MANY HOURS he spends blow-drying and styling his hair before going out at night.

The funny part?

His hair was shaved 'army-style' at the time...so, it obviously required NO styling at all, just a quick towel-dry and he'd be done. She saw that his hair was shaved, realized he was joking and was laughing pretty much the whole time he talked about it.

As I mentioned, humor is best when made up on the fly and that's what Stu did in that situation. However, to ensure you really, really understand how to use humor in your conversations with women, they have provided TRUCKLOADS of examples in The Ultimate Guide to Conversation.

2. Not listening enough

This is critical.

It's such a cliché to say "You have to listen". It sounds SO OBVIOUS and no doubt you've heard it 100 times before...but how good of a listener are you, really? The truth is, if you run out of things to say when talking to women - you are NOT a good listener.

Guys who struggle to keep conversations going with women usually spend MORE TIME thinking about how the conversation is going and what they should or could say next, instead of listening. This prevents the guy from allowing his natural INTELLIGENCE to come up with something at least 'half-decent' to say in the moment.

The best conversationalists LISTEN to the other person and THEN expand on what they've heard by offering their own perspectives, asking questions, making jokes and branching off to related topics.

I repeat: They listen and THEN they expand on the conversation. They don't try to prepare conversation while the other person is speaking. If this means that they pause for a second, or talk slowly at the start of their response -- that is FINE to them and to the woman. The point is: They LISTEN and everyone likes to talk to someone who ACTUALLY listens to them.

3. Worrying what she will think

A lot of guys who struggle with conversation choose to say NOTHING to a woman instead of taking the risk of POTENTIALLY saying something that isn't cool. Then, they complain that conversation is too hard and women are difficult to talk to.

Here's the thing...

Women ARE difficult to talk to if you talk to them in the wrong way. You see it all the time: Some guys just seem to naturally and easily connect with women and enjoy fun, interesting conversations...while other guys talk to women in an awkward way that causes the conversation to come to an end very quickly.

One of the things that causes this awkwardness (there are number of things that cause it, all of which are explained in The Ultimate Guide to Conversation) is worrying about what she will think of what you say. If you come across as though you are holding back on saying things because you are afraid of what she'll think, you can guarantee that 99% of women will NOT be attracted to you and your conversations with them will be awkward and end very quickly.



4. Being too pleasant or too nice

Most of us guys are GOOD guys. We treat people well and we like being GOOD...and that is a GOOD thing.

However, if you talk to women in a way that shows you are trying extra hard (even a little bit) to be extra pleasant or nice -- she WILL sense it and she won't like it.

Think about it...

Have you ever been talking to someone who was TRYING to appear that they were just being nice to you, but you could SENSE that they were 'up to something' and trying to 'get something from you' or trying to 'do you over', so to speak?

Of course, we've all come across those kinds of people. Here's the thing though: If you are PUTTING ON the act of being nicer and more pleasant than you usually are when you talk to a woman -- she WILL sense it and it WILL turn her off.

She won't want to keep talking to you, because she will know you're not being straight with her. Worse still, she will INSTANTLY and INSTINCTIVELY realize that you don't usually hook up with girls of her quality. She will realize that she has more value than you in the situation, so by talking to you (and possibly dating, having sex with you and entering a relationship with you) she will basically be doing you a favor.

5. Not using enough flirting

If you don't flirt with women, you will almost ALWAYS be seen as 'just a friend'...or worse - nothing at all. Flirting is not a 'should do' for success in conversation with women, it's a MUST do and cannot be skipped or overlooked.

They spend a lot of time talking about flirting and providing examples throughout The Ultimate Guide to Conversation. There are probably 70+ examples of flirtatious things you can say and do around women so they WANT YOU as a lover/boyfriend.

If you want to improve your conversation skills with women (including your flirting skills), I recommend you stop and watch this video about conversation right now.

Cheers

David Riklan
Editor - Self Improvement Newsletter
Founder - SelfGrowth.com

P.S. The video contains breakthrough information about how to use conversation to talk your way into sex, dates, love and relationships with women. It also explains how to keep conversations going and keep them interesting...that way, you won't be at a loss for words the next time you have a chance with a beautiful woman! Watch it here now.

Stopping A Woman On The Street

By David DeAngelo

SUCCESS STORY:

Hello, I just bought your book today and I have to admit it was the best choice ever. Before I bought your book I was the shy "nice" guy who would always try to cling on girls and hardly ever talk to any and was always wondering why I couldn't get any phone #'s or dates. I have been dateless for 19 years and I just finished reading your book tonight.

Well I went out and tried some of the techniques and I have to admit it worked like a charm. I saw this girl (looked like a model) I went up to her and said hi, (never done before) and she was like hi and kept walking. Then I threw in this remark "what did my good looks really scare you that badly? (I am an average looking guy and I knew this)" This stopped her in her tracks and she actually came back and was like "What did you say "I was like "Did my good looks really scare you away" and she said "I guess that was it, do you want to grab a table and talk a bit?"

Then we talked for around 20 minutes then I looked at my watch and said look at the time I have to get going. She said "already but we just started". Then I said well how about you give me your e-mail address and I can contact you when I have some time. She told me she didn't have an e-mail address so I asked for her phone number and told her I would only call her about 3 times every day. She laughed and gave it to me and I said will I be able to get a hold of you
on this number? She said yes and even showed me her cell phone number. It matched so I was like I will call you sometime towards the end of the week and maybe we can meet up and develop our "Friendship" a little more. I walked away leaving her speechless.


MY COMMENTS:

OK, first of all, you get a GOLD STAR for being a MAN OF ACTION.

With this little story, you've shown me that you UNDERSTAND what you're learning... and you possess an important quality: Willingness to TRY THINGS.

I thought that it would be interesting to talk about the psychology of approaching and meeting
women that you don't know.

Your email was a great introduction to this topic, as it included several subtle twists and turns that make for interesting observation and analysis.

Listen to me talking about "observation and analysis"... I sound like some kind of freakin' smart guy.

Whatever.

OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS #1:

First you walked over and just said "Hi"...then, when she kept walking, you said something that was both Cocky & Funny, and PRICELESS.

You said:

"What did my good looks really scare you that badly?"

Now, the fact that you're an average-looking REALLY makes something like this work.

With one comment you actually communicated more than most guys communicate in HOURS.

You effectively said "I'm not intimidated by you, and, in fact, I'm so comfortable around beautiful women that I can make funny comments like this one...".

Beautiful women walk around in the world surrounded by BORING, needy, approval-seeking guys. These guys are NOT appealing to women.

When someone shows up and actually demonstrates some HUMOR and some PERSONALITY and some STRENGTH, it really stands out.

OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS #2:

After chatting with her for a little while, you said "I have to get going".

What would most guys do in a situation like this one?

Of course... they'd cling to this girl like peanut butter sticks to the roof of a dog's mouth.

And what would she do?

Right... she'd RUN.

By breaking off the interaction yourself when it was on an UP NOTE, you made yourself FAR more attractive to her.


OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS #3:

After you got her number, you said "I'll call you at the end of the week and maybe we can meet up to develop our friendship a little more".

Beautiful.

What would most guys have done?

Right... they would have said "Hey, maybe I can take you out on a date this week... how does that sound?".

In other words, they would have basically communicated that they were needy Wussbags instead of communicating that they understood the situation and what they were dealing with.

And, of course, they probably wouldn't have had a chance of seeing that woman ever again (except in their one-handed fantasies).

I LOVE IT WHEN GUYS TAKE ACTION!

Love it!

I'm proud of you, man.

Someone come over here and give me a hug before I start crying.

Again, you get a gold star.

One more thought...

I think that most guys would read a story like this one and say "That sounds like B.S... that would never work".

Well I'll tell you something... I've seen things like this happen so many times that I can't even count them anymore.

I have one friend who I personally saw get 25 different women's phone numbers over the course of one weekend.

The amazing part is that he and I were in an educational seminar the entire weekend...

In other words, we were busy MOST of the time... and he got those 25 phone numbers during breaks and evenings.

And I'd say that it took him an AVERAGE of about 5 or 7 minutes to get each one.

It blew my mind.

Is this guy rich? Does he look like Brad Pitt?

Nope.

You wouldn't even notice him if he walked in front of you.

Would you like to hear him talk about how he stops women on the street and gets their phone numbers?

Good, because there's an easy way for you to do it...

It JUST SO HAPPENS that this particular guy is one of SEVERAL guests that are featured on my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.

He actually shares and DEMONSTRATES how he stops women, starts conversations, and gets numbers... all in step-by-step detail.

Of course, this is one small part of my program.

And he's only one of several different amazing "specialists" that are featured on it.

You'll literally learn everything from how to overcome your fear and shyness to how to give a woman a "million dollar" date experience for under TEN BUCKS... and HUNDREDS of other strategies and techniques.

I can't say enough good stuff about it... and if you read some of the feedback that I've gotten on my website, you'll see that others agree.

And you'll notice that the guy who wrote the letter featured in this newsletter started off with "I just bought your book today...".

That's a hint.

If you haven't downloaded your copy, then you need to do that IMMEDIATELY.

You can download it right now, and be reading it within a few minutes. It's here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingAdvice.com/Ebook/


I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

A gentle lady at a party once quipped

A gentle lady at a party once quipped:

'Yes, they say that a diamond is a girl's best friend, but that is not true... give me REAL ESTATE any day.'

— Vic Conant