Cocky and funny

Cocky and funny is absolutely the best technique for getting women, but there is still more to it. Keeping your composure is also very important. If for any reason you say... trip and fall... then don't overreact! Every human on the face of the planet makes mistakes similar to that, and you make it a lot worse by blowing it out of proportion by freaking out in crazy embarrassed way. Just get back up, laugh a little and say a little "oops" or something then go on like nothing happened. Act like you aren't fazed when you screw up around girls. It gives an overwhelming sense to the girls that you are one confident badass. Confidence is beyond important. You cannot show fear of anything. People have got to look at the world as their own playground, where everybody else is just their string puppets for them to control to get what they want. You've got to emit the sense to whatever girl you are trying to hook up with that you think anything is possible. There is no fear, and thus there is only supreme confidence. Supreme confidence will bring you supreme women.


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ah, one of my favorite topics: COMPOSURE.

I have been thinking a lot about the concept of composure lately. I'm actually writing a section on it in a future book... and I spent some time talking about it in the Los Angeles seminar back in May.

Composure if vital because we humans tend to read very subtle cues from others, then make large judgments about them as people.

For instance, if you're the type that let's little things bother you, then you're probably going to be thought of as not-exactly-masculine.

For instance, let's say that you're out with a girl for coffee, and you come out to find a parking ticket on your car. Some guys I know wouldn't even think about it... they'd just get upset. They'd start whining, ranting and raving... and throwing a tantrum... with no regard for what the woman is thinking of them.

On the other hand, I know guys who would causally pick up the ticket, make a funny comment, and not even miss a beat.

What's the difference?

The guy who keeps his composure at all times is FAR more attractive than the one who doesn't.

Another place that composure plays an important part is when women TEST men. If a woman starts trying to push your buttons, becomes demanding, or starts being dramatic about something, you need to KEEP YOUR COOL.

In fact, some of the guys I know who are THE MOST successful with women actually don't even respond AT ALL to drama or tests from women.

They just continue what they were doing.

Oh the other hand, I know some guys who let this kind of thing take them off balance and upset them (I used to be one of those guys).

If you let things like this upset you, or even get to you a little bit, it's going to be obvious that you
can't control your emotions, and it will make you less attractive all the way around.

Keep your composure. Keep your composure. Keep your composure.

David D.
Double Your Dating Ebook

COMMENT FROM A WOMAN

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN*** I am a lady and read your spam for the fun of it. Boy are you all wet and not dry behind the ears yet when it comes to knowing how to attract a lady. I suppose you do all right attracting the ugly ducklings that want to be your door mat. Making fun of the way a lady is not attractive, it just shows what a rude jerk you really are and have no manners. Faking being busy on the phone is one of the oldest tricks in the book and all women are wise to it. If you were truly busy, you would not have called in the first place and women know this. Waiting a certain length of time to call is just ignorance. Out of sight, out of mind is the way most women think about men, when you snooze, you loose. Darlin, get real, this is 2002, head games are a definate no no, honesty is in, or has it been so long since you have attracted a lady instead of a door mat you don't know this. Women have more brains than men and all women know we are sitting on the world men are trying to win, so being rude and making a real pain in the butt out of yourself may get you a door mat but never a lady. Keep your nonsense flowing, us women get a real good laugh from your advice on how to score. The old saying sure holds true with your writing," Those who can do, those who can't write a book on how to". haha!


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well I guess you told me!

Here's what I heard you say (my interpretations, of course):

1. Waiting to call a woman back is a bad idea, and if you don't call her immediately then she'll forget you and not want to ever see you again.

2. Women are smarter than men.

3. Women are "sitting on the world men are trying to win", which I'm assuming means what you have between your legs.

4. That you believe I promote "being rude" and "faking being
busy".

OK, where do I start?

I don't know, but I have sneakin' suspicion that you share
the CRACK PIPE with the STONED woman from last week. Don't
tell me that you're a base-head too?

Well, I guess you asked for it, with your off-the-handle
emotional rant... so here goes. (Can you believe that I get
to have this much fun... and call it work?)

So you think that waiting to call a woman back is a bad
idea, huh?

And you think that if you don't call her back immediately
that she'll have forgotten you... and just not be interested.

This is an interesting line of thinking.

If you're high.

Look, it's soooo commonly known that it's not a good idea
to call a woman the moment after you've met her that even
guys who have never seen the movie SWINGERS know not to
do it!

Yea, I see. I think that from now on, I'll just ask women
for their cel phone numbers, then call them right after I
walk away. I can say "Hi... it's me! Look over your left
shoulder! Here I am! [Waving my arms around]"

That would be cool.

I'd make fun of this idea more, but I have a minimum of
three more incredibly stupid ideas of yours to bust on...

So you think that women are smarter than men, huh? Your exact comment was "Women have more brains than men". You know, this is genius level thinking. It's probably because you're smarter than me that you actually know this.

I'll bet, though, that because you've smoked so much CRACK that you've killed enough brain cells to make us at least EQUALLY "brainy". Just a hunch.

I think you took a step down the wrong path with this comment.

And then you started RUNNING FULL SPEED down that same
wrong path with:

"...all women know we are sitting on the world men are
trying to win..."

Do me a favor... next time you send me an email like this,
send me your address so I can PAY YOU for your
contribution. I wish I could come up with stuff like this
myself.

I see that you've written me an email, so you must have
access to a computer (just a guess). But it seems to me
that you must be pretty new to the internet, because you
obviously haven't figured out that any man can get online
and within 30 seconds be looking at beautiful naked women
for free.

And if they really have a mind to not have to listen to
your mouth AND AT THE SAME TIME "win" the "world" that
women like yourself are sitting on, ALL THEY HAVE TO DO
IS FLY TO VEGAS AND GET A CAB OUT TO THE CHICKEN RANCH!

This is 2002! It's not the dark ages.

I feel like I can speak for most of the guys on this
newsletter when I say that we would like to meet women
who are emotionally stable, friendly, happy, financially
together, etc. (I don't expect you to be able to identify
with this description... don't worry about it.)

It's not our desire to just "win what you're sitting on".

We don't have to anymore. We improve ourselves in this
area because we WANT TO. We're not interested in playing
"Hi there Miss, will you please give me some attention and
some of what you're sitting on?"

And finally, to address your comment that implies that I
teach men to be rude and to fake things...

You're missing the boat entirely. It's like a joke, you
either get it or you don't. And you don't.

Remember, send your address next time! And also try the
spelling and grammar check in your word processor, because
you write like an emotionally unstable middle-schooler.

David D.
Double Your Dating Ebook

The Legacy We Leave in Our Relationships

by Chris Widener

Relationships are at the very core of our existence and something we deal with every day and on every level of our lives. We have very superficial relationships with many people, such as merchants we may meet, and relationships that we consider intimate, such as the ones we experience with our immediate family and our mates.

Relationships provide us with both the most positive as well as the most negative experiences we have in our lives. There are those who, though they may never achieve fame or fortune in this world, will be remembered very highly by all who came in contact with them. Their funerals will overflow with people they have touched.

The pain and joy that can come as children remember their deceased parents is determined by the lives those parents lived and how well they maintained the relationships with their children.

And what it all comes down to is the ability to maintain healthy relationships.

I want to share with you the key components of establishing relationships that will allow you to leave a fantastic relational legacy.

Be Purposeful. People are busy and time flies. Put these two together and you have a recipe for disaster in the relationship department. Pretty soon you and your best friends have had months go by between times spent together. In order to have quality relationships we have to be purposeful.

This is especially true with couples and even more so for couples with small children. They need to be very purposeful in making sure they spend quality time together communicating and enjoying one another.

Be Proactive. This is the opposite of reactive. Reactive is when your spouse says, “We never spend any time together,” and you respond by saying, “Okay, we will this week.” It would be to sit down at the beginning of each month or week and schedule the time, or better yet have a weekly “date night.” The key is to take control and schedule your relationships. Otherwise, they are going to get away from you.

Be Disciplined. Yes, it takes discipline to maintain healthy relationships. The discipline is to make investments regularly. This means the monthly lunch with a friend. It means the yearly hunting trip with friends from high school. It means cutting out of work early to go to your child’s game. It means disciplining yourself to work harder during the day in order to leave at a set time so you can eat dinner with your family. All of these are acts of discipline. Just as we have to discipline ourselves in other areas of our lives, like exercising for health or investing for wealth, we have to discipline ourselves into actions that will produce strong and healthy relationships.
Value People Above Possessions, Schedules and Achievements. The sooner we realize that we leave behind all of our stuff when we die, the sooner we will be able to focus on what matters most—relationships. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that we shouldn’t do our best to become successful financially or that we shouldn’t enjoy material possessions. What I am saying is that should be secondary to healthy relationships. I can’t imagine someone on their deathbed who says, “I wish I would have left an estate of ten million dollars instead of five million.” No, people get to the ends of their lives and wish they would have invested more in their relationships.

Be Loving. I don’t mean to be guided by emotional feelings of “love.” Feelings come and go. This is what I mean when I say loving: to always act in such a way as to do what is best for the other person. Love is not feelings, but actions. When we say that we love someone, we mean that we are committed to their best interests. If we are lucky, those commitments are coupled with strong emotional bonds as well.

Be Forgiving. The fact is this: Where there are people, mistakes will be made. I don’t care if you are the nicest guy on earth (or married to him), you will have some breakdowns in your relationship on occasion. That is the nature of being human. Other people will fail you and you will fail people.

And when this happens we must face a decision: Will we let the relationship remain broken or will we learn to forgive? An analogy might be in order. A relationship is like building a house. It has to have a strong foundation.

That is where you start. Then it must be built step by step until it is finished. During the building process there may be times when a beam falls or the two-by-fours break. The builder has a decision to make. Will he repair the building or let it go? If he chooses to let it go, the house will be weak and eventually fall into disrepair. Unfortunately, too many people let their relationships break and do not repair them by practicing forgiveness. People who leave successful relationships behind them practice the art of forgiveness.

Follow the Golden Rule. The golden rule of life is, “Do to others what you would want them to do to you.” What is most interesting about this is that Christ was the first religious leader to say this in a positive way. Other leaders had said before to “Don’t do to others what you don’t want them to do to you.” Relationships are about being proactive and doing for others.

When we wake up each day with the goal to follow the golden rule and do good in people’s lives, we set ourselves on a course that will allow us to build a strong relational legacy.

Think of how you want to be remembered, and then live in such a way that you will be. If you want to be remembered as kind, then be kind. If you want to be remembered as strong, then be strong. If you want to be remembered as friendly, then be friendly. If you want to be remembered as forgiving and patient, then be forgiving and patient. What you do and how you act will add up to how you will be remembered.

It is possible to leave a wonderful relational legacy. If you follow the principles above, you will surely do so.

—Chris Widener

Kissing Women And Using Humor

***QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hey Dave!

I am an avid reader of your newsletters and mailbags ...this stuff literally blew me away. I also have your e-book. I had never seen or read any other "dating expert" use the word "attraction"...period! They never mention it in anything they write yet it is the MOST IMPORTANT thing that determines your success with women. Out of literally dozens of articles and e-books from so-called "dating pros", the word "attraction" just doesn't ever come up! I even read in one e-book that to attract women you need to get a golden tan. I was like: "What the hell? That's not the key to attracting women you dummy! Besides, what if you cant tan?!!"

When attraction is imminent, women try to be with you and chase you. If attraction is not there,
they make up excuses and try to avoid you. This is so simple... yet so easy to understand but many guys who haven't read your eBook miss this vital point and thus waste time on women that aren't interested! Attraction is EVERYTHING! That is why anyone reading this that hasn't bought your e-book or your Advanced CD series should do it IMMEDIATELY! It's definitely worth the investment. In fact it will pay you back over the rest of your life because you will be so much better with women! Don't pay hundreds of dollars or waste time on the other material that's out there...buy Dave's materials! Ok, Dave, I'm sure your head has grown 10 times as big now and since I'm not getting paid for making you a few extra sales, so I'll quit now! But really, buy the stuff...it's excellent! It's things in there you have never heard of before that is so critical to your failure or success with women!

Anyhow, that was my insight on how great your material is...now I have a question aboutsomething I read in your mailbag previously that really stood out to me. It was the one about the
guy who said "Can I kiss you" to a woman that was getting out of the car as he dropped her off. I
thought saying "Can I kiss you?" was wussified behavior? That didn't sound like something you can say without looking like a needy dork but the guy said it worked for him and he got the kiss anyhow. Did I miss something here? Explain that Dave. Also, have you learned of any other "Kiss Tests" like the one on your site?

GT from Nashville

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, thanks for the shameless advertisement for my ebook and Advanced Series. I'm glad you're having success with the material.

I'd like to comment on your observation that there's no one teaching guys about ATTRACTION...

I noticed this exact same thing when I was first learning about how to meet and date women.

It took me probably two years of trying things before I finally realized that there was something else going on with women that NO ONE was talking about. Finally, I realized that this magic something was an EMOTION.

Women don't meet men and say to themselves "Well, he's my physical type, he has a good job,
he dresses himself pretty well, and he looks like he's good in bed... I think I'll TURN ON MY
ATTRACTION for him..."

No way.

There's something that happens to a woman, usually in an INSTANT, that sparks the "Chemistry"or "Sexual Tension" or "Attraction." And then, if the man knows how to build that tension and AMPLIFY the EMOTION called ATTRACTION that the woman is feeling, there's a very good chance that they will get together.

If, on the other hand, a man does NOT understand this simple fact, and more importantly,
how ATTRACTION works, then no magic technique in the world will work consistently for him.

I've learned that ATTRACTION is EVERYTHING.

SO WHY HASN'T ANYONE FIGURED THIS OUT?

Well, I have a theory about that, too.

In a nutshell, I think that because men are sexually attracted primarily to LOOKS, they just
ASSUME that women must be the same way. We guys just simply never take the time and energy to figure out what women are actually attracted to... so we act like failures with women... and they treat us like failures.

And many of the guys I DO know who are good with women don't realize WHY what they do works so well. They just do what they do, and women are attracted to them. Most of them haven't taken the time to figure out that what they're doing is triggering the powerful emotion called ATTRACTION inside of women.

To finish my thought on this, you're right.

No one talks about ATTRACTION... and that's a problem, because if you don't "get" attraction, then it's going to be hard to "get" women to be interested in you.

Now, you asked a question at the end of your email.

You wanted to know if the guy who asked, "Can I kiss you?" was being a Wuss.

OK, I'm about to share a VERY, VERY powerful tool to use when you're interacting with women...

*** Before I share this secret, I want to mention that if you want to get a SERIOUS education on the topic of attraction, check out my eBook "Attraction Isn't A Choice." You can download it
right here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AttractionBook

When I tell you what it is, you're probably going to say, "That doesn't sound important"...
but IT IS.

Trust me on this one.

When you asked your question in the way that you asked it, you indicated to me that you MISSED WHAT WAS GOING ON. You missed the point of the question.

One of the things I tell guys to do is TEASE women.

Teasing can mean one of a couple of things.

Teasing can mean starting to kiss her, then stopping, starting, then stopping... over and over
again. In this context it's usually considered a good, pleasurable thing.

For instance, if you kiss a woman gently, then pull away... then do it again... then again... and
you can tell that she wants more, but you're not giving it to her, you're teasing her.

Also, teasing can mean "poking fun".

An example would be saying, "Wow, those are some tall shoes. What, are you like three feet
tall without them?"

Think of how you used to tease girls on the school playground when you were a kid.

That's a different kind of teasing.

Now, BOTH kinds of teasing are great to use with women who you have a romantic interest in...

Let's talk about the "Can I kiss you?" example for a minute.

As you might remember, it went something like this:

He waited for a moment when it was clear to him that it would be OK to kiss her. She wanted it.
Then he said...

Him: "Can I kiss you?" Her: "Yes" Him: "OK, I'll make sure to do that."

At this point, she said "Right"... and leaned in to kiss HIM!

What happened here?

What happened was a little bit of GENIUS. That's what happened.

He was TEASING HER. He was doing something that, at first glance was kind of Wuss/Nice Guy thing to do. But remember, he had so much momentum built up, that this little "slip" was perceived by her as OK. In fact, he had so much momentum and ATTRACTION built up that she WANTED IT.

He says, "Can I kiss you?", she says, "Yes", then he TEASES her by saying, "OK, I'll make sure to do that."

Yeah!

In that moment, she realizes that his Wuss behavior was actually a JOKE, and that he was
actually MESSING with her and teasing her.

And at that point she leaned over and kissed HIM.

Now, let me share something that I made up that I have used with women on many occasions...

Let's say I'm out and I meet a girl walking down the street, and I get her email and phone
number.

We send a couple of emails back and forth, then we get on the phone.

Because I'm always teasing and busting balls, I KNOW that she's enjoying it and interested in
me... so in that first phone conversation I'll say:

Me: "You know, I was telling my mom about you today" Her: "Really?" Me: "NO, you dork! Why would I tell my MOM about you? Get over yourself!"

Are you with me?

Remember, I'm being charming, Cocky, Funny, and unpredictable from the start... and I KNOW that she's enjoying it. The tension is building, even as we have our first phone conversation.

So I then say something that just plain doesn't fit ("I was telling my mom about you today?"). She says, "Really?" in a half flattered/half surprised way, wondering what's going on.

I then pause to build up the suspense.

As the pause is happening, and she's starting to think to herself, "Uh oh, he really likes me",
I drop the "No, you dork! Why would I tell my MOM about you? Get over yourself!" line.

It's funny, confusing, and a HUGE tease.

It usually gets a huge laugh... and it communicates that I not only "get" what's going
on, but I'm so confident that I'll tease her about
it.

Now, this is what you might call an "advanced" move.

If you don't know how to tell if a woman is attracted to you, how to spark attraction, how to
amplify the attraction, and how to move from one step to the next, you're just going to sound like
a dumb ass when you say something like this... because you'll say it at the wrong time, or you'll
say it to a woman who isn't very interested in you... which will make things WORSE instead of
better.

I hope you hear what I'm saying.

One of the GREATEST things you can learn is how to use SUBTLE humor with women to IMPLY what you're thinking without actually SAYING it directly.

As I say in my ebook, "Double Your Dating" and in my Advanced CD/DVD Program, men take things literally and women are always interpreting... they're always trying to figure out what
everything you're saying and doing "REALLY MEANS".

Communicating with women on a "sexual" level is a skill that you must learn and develop... and thankfully ANY man can learn how.

Once you learn this new "language," you'll start to experience women in a whole new way.
You'll be sending and receiving signals in a language that you never even knew about.

And it's FUN!

And the best part is that WOMEN WILL REALLY APPRECIATE and ENJOY the fact that you actually know how to communicate with them.

You need to go back through these materials and pay attention to the SUBTLE things that I'm
saying, and start to really pay attention to the details of how you communicate with women. You
won't believe how much fun you can have.

And if you haven't yet invested in my eBook and Advanced CD/DVD series, then you need to do that. Both come with a "stupid-proof" guarantee... try BEFORE you buy... and both take your dating success through the roof.

You will not find a better education on women and dating ANYWHERE... at ANY price.

The eBook is here for download:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook

The Advanced Dating Techniques Program is here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries

I'll talk to you again soon!

Your Friend,

David D.


P.S. Don't forget to check out all of my different programs in my online catalog. You can see them
all, plus watch video clips of every one of them right here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/Catalog

5 Conversation Killers You Must Avoid When Talking to Women

After coaching a lot of guys over the years (on how to be successful with women) and watching them interact with women in real-life environments, Ben, Stu and Dan have identified many things that will instantly KILL a guy's conversation with a woman.


In The Ultimate Guide to Conversation they've boiled the list down to 16 conversation killers and cover each of them in detail in the program. Today, I'm going to talk about 5 of those conversation killers that could save you from blowing your next opportunity with a woman you like!



1. Not using enough humor

Everyone likes to have a good laugh, true?

Laughing makes you feel happy, alive and present in your life. It reminds you to not take everything so seriously. When it comes to having a conversation with a woman, humor is the fastest way to make her FEEL GOOD and want to keep talking with you. Naturally, if a woman doesn't feel good, fun, positive, happy emotions when talking to you then she is going to get bored and seek stimulation elsewhere.

Unlike us men who may enjoy talking for hours about technical and intelligent topics (e.g. science, technology, finance, investing, property, politics, philosophy, sport statistics, cars, etc), when it comes to the DATING process and working out whether or not they like you - women want to you to talk about things that make them feel FUN, positive and desirable EMOTIONS.

Without the use of humor, the amount of emotion you can make a woman feel by what you're saying is very limited. This is why you often hear women saying, "I want a guy who can make me laugh."

So, what's the trick to being funny and using humor to make women laugh and feel good around you?

Humor is best when it is made up on the fly, while you are being real in the moment and listening to what is being said (and not said). To make sure that you completely understand how to use humor when talking to women, they've included 100+ examples throughout The Ultimate Guide to Conversation.

As you use those examples in your conversations with women, you will quickly understand how humor works and will instantly feel more comfortable cracking your own jokes in the moment. Best of all, the type of humor they teach is guaranteed to make women attracted to you.

One of the examples of humor from The Ultimate Guide to Conversation can be found in a section that includes 56 different conversation starters. Here's the story behind the humor example...

Stu was at a club one night and walked up to the bar to get a drink. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that the woman standing to his right began to primp and preen her hair. Assuming that she was doing that to look nicer in front of him, he turned to her, smiled and said, "Don't worry honey -- your hair looks fine...!"

She laughed and thanked him for the compliment (was it a compliment that Stu gave, or a bit of humor...or both?). Stu then continued by telling her about the MANY HOURS he spends blow-drying and styling his hair before going out at night.

The funny part?

His hair was shaved 'army-style' at the time...so, it obviously required NO styling at all, just a quick towel-dry and he'd be done. She saw that his hair was shaved, realized he was joking and was laughing pretty much the whole time he talked about it.

As I mentioned, humor is best when made up on the fly and that's what Stu did in that situation. However, to ensure you really, really understand how to use humor in your conversations with women, they have provided TRUCKLOADS of examples in The Ultimate Guide to Conversation.

2. Not listening enough

This is critical.

It's such a cliché to say "You have to listen". It sounds SO OBVIOUS and no doubt you've heard it 100 times before...but how good of a listener are you, really? The truth is, if you run out of things to say when talking to women - you are NOT a good listener.

Guys who struggle to keep conversations going with women usually spend MORE TIME thinking about how the conversation is going and what they should or could say next, instead of listening. This prevents the guy from allowing his natural INTELLIGENCE to come up with something at least 'half-decent' to say in the moment.

The best conversationalists LISTEN to the other person and THEN expand on what they've heard by offering their own perspectives, asking questions, making jokes and branching off to related topics.

I repeat: They listen and THEN they expand on the conversation. They don't try to prepare conversation while the other person is speaking. If this means that they pause for a second, or talk slowly at the start of their response -- that is FINE to them and to the woman. The point is: They LISTEN and everyone likes to talk to someone who ACTUALLY listens to them.

3. Worrying what she will think

A lot of guys who struggle with conversation choose to say NOTHING to a woman instead of taking the risk of POTENTIALLY saying something that isn't cool. Then, they complain that conversation is too hard and women are difficult to talk to.

Here's the thing...

Women ARE difficult to talk to if you talk to them in the wrong way. You see it all the time: Some guys just seem to naturally and easily connect with women and enjoy fun, interesting conversations...while other guys talk to women in an awkward way that causes the conversation to come to an end very quickly.

One of the things that causes this awkwardness (there are number of things that cause it, all of which are explained in The Ultimate Guide to Conversation) is worrying about what she will think of what you say. If you come across as though you are holding back on saying things because you are afraid of what she'll think, you can guarantee that 99% of women will NOT be attracted to you and your conversations with them will be awkward and end very quickly.



4. Being too pleasant or too nice

Most of us guys are GOOD guys. We treat people well and we like being GOOD...and that is a GOOD thing.

However, if you talk to women in a way that shows you are trying extra hard (even a little bit) to be extra pleasant or nice -- she WILL sense it and she won't like it.

Think about it...

Have you ever been talking to someone who was TRYING to appear that they were just being nice to you, but you could SENSE that they were 'up to something' and trying to 'get something from you' or trying to 'do you over', so to speak?

Of course, we've all come across those kinds of people. Here's the thing though: If you are PUTTING ON the act of being nicer and more pleasant than you usually are when you talk to a woman -- she WILL sense it and it WILL turn her off.

She won't want to keep talking to you, because she will know you're not being straight with her. Worse still, she will INSTANTLY and INSTINCTIVELY realize that you don't usually hook up with girls of her quality. She will realize that she has more value than you in the situation, so by talking to you (and possibly dating, having sex with you and entering a relationship with you) she will basically be doing you a favor.

5. Not using enough flirting

If you don't flirt with women, you will almost ALWAYS be seen as 'just a friend'...or worse - nothing at all. Flirting is not a 'should do' for success in conversation with women, it's a MUST do and cannot be skipped or overlooked.

They spend a lot of time talking about flirting and providing examples throughout The Ultimate Guide to Conversation. There are probably 70+ examples of flirtatious things you can say and do around women so they WANT YOU as a lover/boyfriend.

If you want to improve your conversation skills with women (including your flirting skills), I recommend you stop and watch this video about conversation right now.

Cheers

David Riklan
Editor - Self Improvement Newsletter
Founder - SelfGrowth.com

P.S. The video contains breakthrough information about how to use conversation to talk your way into sex, dates, love and relationships with women. It also explains how to keep conversations going and keep them interesting...that way, you won't be at a loss for words the next time you have a chance with a beautiful woman! Watch it here now.

Stopping A Woman On The Street

By David DeAngelo

SUCCESS STORY:

Hello, I just bought your book today and I have to admit it was the best choice ever. Before I bought your book I was the shy "nice" guy who would always try to cling on girls and hardly ever talk to any and was always wondering why I couldn't get any phone #'s or dates. I have been dateless for 19 years and I just finished reading your book tonight.

Well I went out and tried some of the techniques and I have to admit it worked like a charm. I saw this girl (looked like a model) I went up to her and said hi, (never done before) and she was like hi and kept walking. Then I threw in this remark "what did my good looks really scare you that badly? (I am an average looking guy and I knew this)" This stopped her in her tracks and she actually came back and was like "What did you say "I was like "Did my good looks really scare you away" and she said "I guess that was it, do you want to grab a table and talk a bit?"

Then we talked for around 20 minutes then I looked at my watch and said look at the time I have to get going. She said "already but we just started". Then I said well how about you give me your e-mail address and I can contact you when I have some time. She told me she didn't have an e-mail address so I asked for her phone number and told her I would only call her about 3 times every day. She laughed and gave it to me and I said will I be able to get a hold of you
on this number? She said yes and even showed me her cell phone number. It matched so I was like I will call you sometime towards the end of the week and maybe we can meet up and develop our "Friendship" a little more. I walked away leaving her speechless.


MY COMMENTS:

OK, first of all, you get a GOLD STAR for being a MAN OF ACTION.

With this little story, you've shown me that you UNDERSTAND what you're learning... and you possess an important quality: Willingness to TRY THINGS.

I thought that it would be interesting to talk about the psychology of approaching and meeting
women that you don't know.

Your email was a great introduction to this topic, as it included several subtle twists and turns that make for interesting observation and analysis.

Listen to me talking about "observation and analysis"... I sound like some kind of freakin' smart guy.

Whatever.

OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS #1:

First you walked over and just said "Hi"...then, when she kept walking, you said something that was both Cocky & Funny, and PRICELESS.

You said:

"What did my good looks really scare you that badly?"

Now, the fact that you're an average-looking REALLY makes something like this work.

With one comment you actually communicated more than most guys communicate in HOURS.

You effectively said "I'm not intimidated by you, and, in fact, I'm so comfortable around beautiful women that I can make funny comments like this one...".

Beautiful women walk around in the world surrounded by BORING, needy, approval-seeking guys. These guys are NOT appealing to women.

When someone shows up and actually demonstrates some HUMOR and some PERSONALITY and some STRENGTH, it really stands out.

OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS #2:

After chatting with her for a little while, you said "I have to get going".

What would most guys do in a situation like this one?

Of course... they'd cling to this girl like peanut butter sticks to the roof of a dog's mouth.

And what would she do?

Right... she'd RUN.

By breaking off the interaction yourself when it was on an UP NOTE, you made yourself FAR more attractive to her.


OBSERVATION AND ANALYSIS #3:

After you got her number, you said "I'll call you at the end of the week and maybe we can meet up to develop our friendship a little more".

Beautiful.

What would most guys have done?

Right... they would have said "Hey, maybe I can take you out on a date this week... how does that sound?".

In other words, they would have basically communicated that they were needy Wussbags instead of communicating that they understood the situation and what they were dealing with.

And, of course, they probably wouldn't have had a chance of seeing that woman ever again (except in their one-handed fantasies).

I LOVE IT WHEN GUYS TAKE ACTION!

Love it!

I'm proud of you, man.

Someone come over here and give me a hug before I start crying.

Again, you get a gold star.

One more thought...

I think that most guys would read a story like this one and say "That sounds like B.S... that would never work".

Well I'll tell you something... I've seen things like this happen so many times that I can't even count them anymore.

I have one friend who I personally saw get 25 different women's phone numbers over the course of one weekend.

The amazing part is that he and I were in an educational seminar the entire weekend...

In other words, we were busy MOST of the time... and he got those 25 phone numbers during breaks and evenings.

And I'd say that it took him an AVERAGE of about 5 or 7 minutes to get each one.

It blew my mind.

Is this guy rich? Does he look like Brad Pitt?

Nope.

You wouldn't even notice him if he walked in front of you.

Would you like to hear him talk about how he stops women on the street and gets their phone numbers?

Good, because there's an easy way for you to do it...

It JUST SO HAPPENS that this particular guy is one of SEVERAL guests that are featured on my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.

He actually shares and DEMONSTRATES how he stops women, starts conversations, and gets numbers... all in step-by-step detail.

Of course, this is one small part of my program.

And he's only one of several different amazing "specialists" that are featured on it.

You'll literally learn everything from how to overcome your fear and shyness to how to give a woman a "million dollar" date experience for under TEN BUCKS... and HUNDREDS of other strategies and techniques.

I can't say enough good stuff about it... and if you read some of the feedback that I've gotten on my website, you'll see that others agree.

And you'll notice that the guy who wrote the letter featured in this newsletter started off with "I just bought your book today...".

That's a hint.

If you haven't downloaded your copy, then you need to do that IMMEDIATELY.

You can download it right now, and be reading it within a few minutes. It's here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingAdvice.com/Ebook/


I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

A gentle lady at a party once quipped

A gentle lady at a party once quipped:

'Yes, they say that a diamond is a girl's best friend, but that is not true... give me REAL ESTATE any day.'

— Vic Conant

Keeping A Beautiful Woman Attracted

***DATING QUESTION FROM READER***

Hello, David!

I want to start by thanking you for your work. Once in a great while, someone comes along that truly wants to help others succeed, and puts in the effort to the research and testing, and makes something great for others. You are one of those people, and I'm glad to see you succeed by helping so many others do the same.

I was reaching to find answers, like a lot of us were, and found your material. It has been awesome. In the last week, I saw the most attractive woman I perhaps ever have. She was a 9.5 on my scale, which is truly rare to find for me. Not just in looks, but a great personality.

Instead of giving in to my normal habits, I applied the methods you taught. We went out to a club, and had a great time. I had another friend of mine there, and I used him as a means to partially ignore her at times, constantly making jokes that were just too quiet for her to hear, and looking at her and smiling when doing it. She constantly wanted to know what was funny, yet she wasn't mad, just shyly curious. I was aloof, yet not terribly too distant from her. I would wander off by myself, knowing she was with my friend, and leave them hanging alone for a little while now and then. (I knew my friend wasn't going to hit on her). I would go up to other girls and whisper something in their ear right in front of her, to give her the idea that I was completely comfortable in my own skin with women. Once, on my way back from the dance floor, I found her with some other guy. I flashed a sly little smile, but kept on walking right by, as if to imply "You have a good time there. I could care less. As a matter of fact, you look a tad pathetic coming on to him." She soon returned and said that I had been gone too long, and some guy had "dragged her away from me". That night, I had resisted the urge to act like anything but the kind of man you would teach someone to be. All urges at wussness were disregarded, and I played the part to a tee. Even though it didn't entirely feel normal or comfortable at first, I could see that it was definitely working, so I kept it up. I would occasionally catch her staring at me from the corner of my eye, sometimes for 2 or 3 seconds. I didn't react, but just kept saying to myself "Damn. David has been right the whole time".

I woke up the next morning with a weird feeling... this was something I had never achieved before. I don't mean sex with a woman soon after I met her, but the fact that she was so damn gorgeous. At the risk of sounding a little chauvinistic, she was the best girl I have ever had. Well, over the next two weeks or so, I kept coming over and doing things during the days with her and staying at night. This is when things began to change.

You had a timeless question from a guy once who said something like "After I sleep with a woman why do I feel like hating her?" Well, I normally feel the same. But with this girl, it was
different. I wanted to keep her. But, the more time we spent together, the more we started to
both feel like whatever I sparked was fading quick. I could see the thrill of our initial meeting was dying, and I wanted to add to my image in her mind the idea that I could be a part of her
daily life too, not just the nighttime party one.

I felt like I had to show her something that proved I didn't just want her for sex. I knew I couldn't let her interpret it as me buying her attention or body, although I'm afraid that may
have been exactly what I did. I ended up purchasing her and her roommate a full stock of groceries, which they definitely needed. It gave me some kind of a sense that I had shown that I was more than just a sex buddy, which really felt good to me. However, lately she has pulled away.

We will still go out and have a good time, but more like friends, with only a little flirting.
She now refuses sex, saying "it would complicate things." By the way, although she has been in
long-term relationships since she was 16, she currently isn't, and seems to be enjoying the party life a lot. She is 22 now. I know you said in your audio series that it is a mistake to try to tie down a party girl, but she told me of her long-term history with guys, and that's why I tried. Did I screw up by getting too close too fast? Was it unrealistic for me to show that kind of attention to her needs that quick or at all?

How many times should a guy see a girl each week if he wants to keep up the attraction and have a great time, but not become too familiar to her?

Thanks man.

Confused, -J

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, I feel your pain.

I'm sure that just about every man alive can identify with this story in one way or another...
even if it doesn't involve a woman that you'd describe as a "9.5".

So, let's talk about the situation you're in, what happened at first, and what to do now...

First of all, congratulations on the fact that you were able to make this kind of success happen in the first place!

You're doing great, and I know how good it feels to have this kind of success with a really attractive woman.

It sounds like you're really starting to "get it" at a deep level. The more you continue to study the materials you have (especially the CD Series) the more you'll understand how to attract these UNUSUALLY attractive women... and more importantly, KEEP THEM ATTRACTED.

Let's review a few of my main concepts, and how they apply to this situation...

ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE

Explained differently, a woman doesn't CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE to feel attracted to a man.

A woman also doesn't consciously choose to STOP her attraction for a man.

It happens for reasons that seem very illogical to most men.

The things you were doing when you first met this girl were EXACTLY the right things for
creating this wonderful feeling of ATTRACTION inside of her.

And she obviously enjoyed it tremendously.

You mentioned that you didn't feel totally comfortable at first, but since it was obvious that she was becoming more and more interested in you, you kept going... which led to you getting together with her.

But, remember the flip side: If you start doing the WRONG things, the woman will LOSE her
ATTRACTION for you as well. And it will happen ALL BY ITSELF. The worst part is that you can't logically convince her to keep feeling attracted to you. If you screw it up, you're probably going to screw it up to a point that is almost impossible to fix.

More of the "psychology" of creating and amplifying attraction is here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AttractionBook


GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU

What do most guys do as soon as they meet a REALLY HOT, ultra-attractive woman?

Of course! They call three times a day, and want to see her all the time.

Attractive women know better than to do this.

When an attractive woman meets a man she likes, she usually PLAYS HARD TO GET. Instead of calling, she acts like she's BUSY.

This makes the man try even harder, and pursue her even more...

It sounds like you did exactly the opposite.

In your email here you say:

"Well, over the next two weeks or so, I kept coming over and doing things during the days with
her and staying at night. This is when things began to change..."

No no no!

Over the next two weeks you should have called her every few days, and seen her maybe three times for a few hours each.

No "doing things during the days with her and staying at night"!

You really need to remember to GIVE HER THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU!

If you're around all the time, you become predictable, expected, and uninteresting.

On the other hand, if you're mysterious, challenging, and hard to pin down, she will think
about you and miss the times she's had with you.

DON'T TURN INTO A WUSS

This is one of the biggest mistakes that men make when they meet a woman that they REALLY like.

I get a lot of emails from guys saying "I met this girl, and I used everything I've learned from
Double Your Dating to get her... but now that we've been seeing each other for awhile things are
changing, and I'm starting to lose control of how I act... and I'm turning into my old Wussy
self..."

As I'm sure you can guess, this is bad bad bad for attraction.

When you start out by doing things that are attractive to her, then gradually turn into a WUSS
BAG, you go from her wildest dream to her worst nightmare right in front of her eyes.

If you figure out how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING!

Don't start being a clingy Wuss. Translation: Don't spend every day and night with her, don't
buy her groceries, and don't try to get her into a relationship fifteen minutes after you meet her.

You also mentioned a few little words that stood out for me: "I kept coming over...".

YOU kept coming over. When you're the one coming to her, then she's the one in control.
Think about it. This is a small point, and it isn't always the case, but in this situation it makes a difference.

So, what should you do now?

You should give her some space. Don't call her more than once or twice a week, and don't see her
more than once or twice a week for awhile. Don't pressure her physically, and don't try to push for a relationship.

DATE OTHER WOMEN! Get out there and go out with some other women... and when you talk to her don't hide the fact that you're doing it. Be casual about it, but feel free to mention it in
conversation once or twice.

GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE

Don't get hung up, don't obsess about her, and don't make it important to "win her back". Just
move on.

This combination will give you the greatest chance of winning her back...

And the next time you meet a beautiful woman that has an interesting personality, DON'T TURN INTO A PREDICTABLE, BORING, CLINGY, WUSSY!

You've done a great job getting this far. Now get back in there and take this to the next level!

And if you're reading this right now and thinking to yourself "I need to learn this stuff so I can meet beautiful women like this guy...", then we have to talk.

One of the most important insights I've gotten from learning the secrets of how to attract women
is very interesting...

I've realized that if a man doesn't know how to attract women, it spills over into all other areas
of his life. It's a very special kind of insecurity that causes a lot of problems in other areas as well.

Let's face it.

Just about everything that men do to achieve material success in life is somehow connected to
ATTRACTING WOMEN.

But guess what?

Material success won't make the INSECURITY and the FEAR go away!

The only thing that WILL make it go away is actually LEARNING how to attract women.

I know, because I've been there. I can CLEARLY remember how different I felt inside when I had no idea how to meet women... and I know how different it feels now that I do.

My relationships work better, because I'm not acting AFRAID... afraid that she's going to leave,
afraid I won't be able to find someone else... etc.

And when I'm single, I'm happy. I don't constantly worry anymore, not knowing if I'll ever
meet another woman.

I personally think that taking the time to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION is one of
the best investments you will ever make in yourself and your life, period.

It might be THE best investment.

If you'd like to get the best training available in the WORLD, then you need to get yourself a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD Program.

It's a complete education, from the psychology of how to overcome fear and improve your self
image, all the way to specific techniques for approaching, meeting, and dating women... and even
how to take things to a "physical level" without rejection.

I absolutely guarantee that this program will change your success with women.

All the details, plus some great free audio and video samples are here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/AdvancedSeries

If you've gone through my Advanced Dating Techniques program, and you enjoyed the INNER GAME aspects of attracting women... and you've realized that REALLY attractive women are more attracted to INNER qualities than "techniques"... AND you want to learn how to become the kind of man that women are NATURALLY attracted to... and that they STAY attracted to...

...then you REALLY need to check out my program: "On Being A Man... Who Naturally Attracts
Women".

Inside this program you'll learn how to develop the QUALITIES inside YOURSELF that women are "naturally" attracted to.

This program will teach you how to leave your "Inner Wuss" behind, and how to cultivate a
natural masculine power that women find literally IRRESISTIBLE.

All the details are here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/OnBeingAMan

And if you haven't taken the time to download my online eBook "Double Your Dating", then you
need to go and do that RIGHT NOW. You can download it right now and be reading it within a few minutes. Go and get it here:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

'Chemistry' And 'Sexual Tension' Explained

NOTE: Somewhere in this newsletter I reveal to you
an almost "magical" technique... This particular technique is one of those "gems" that you can use in many situations with women... one that has the power to instantly transform the energy between you and a woman into an almost INSTANT ATTRACTION...

Here's an interesting thought:

Ask 100 attractive women if they know what the
words "Chemistry" and "Sexual Tension" mean, they'll all nod their heads and say "Of course!".

Ask 100 guys off the street if they know what the
words "Chemistry" and "Sexual Tension" mean, and about
98 of them will give you a dumb look and say "Uh, not
really".

A few will probably say things like "Um, is Sexual
Tension like when you and a chick are having sex in
a weird position and you get a cramp?".

The reality of this situation is that most attractive
women know EXACTLY what Chemistry and Sexual Tension
are... and they can describe them in DETAIL... but
most men have literally NO IDEA... they're completely
clueless.

Think about that.

I'm talking about an incredible phenomenon here...

How is it POSSIBLE that one of the most important
aspects of attracting a woman is something that most
men know NOTHING about?

And how is it that almost ALL attractive women are
totally "in the know" about this stuff?

Is there some kind of strange conspiracy against
men?

Are women keeping a secret from us guys just so
we won't be able to break the code?

Maybe.

I mean, think about it...

If you were an attractive woman, would you want
to find a guy that you had to TEACH the concepts of
Chemistry and Sexual Tension to... or would you want
a guy who just "got it" on his own... "naturally"?

Duh.

You'd want the guy who already "got it".

So more likely than a conspiracy against clueless
men, women just naturally respond to men who GET IT,
and DON'T respond to men who DON'T.

So let's talk about these concepts a little bit
more.

When a woman uses the word "Chemistry", as in
"There was chemistry between us" or "I want to meet
a man and have natural chemistry", she's talking about
ATTRACTION.

Chemistry is about a woman perceiving that
she and a guy are "naturally compatible" because
her emotional and physical sparks fly when she
meets or is around that guy.

NOTE: I did NOT use the word "logical" here.

Chemistry is NOT the result of a woman meeting
a man and then thinking to herself "Let's see...
he is six feet tall, has a good job making 37% more
than the medial salary, is the correct age for child
rearing... I think that we have a natural chemistry...".

Nooooo way.

For a woman, Chemistry is either THERE, or it ISN'T.

There's no two ways about it.

Unfortunately, most guys hear the word "Chemistry"
and they think it somehow equates to "The guy must
be good-looking so the girl thinks he's sexy... and
since I'm NOT the most handsome guy alive, women won't
feel it with ME".

This is only because most guys don't get that you
can make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you REGARDLESS
of your looks, age, income, height, or anything else.

So let me repeat:

"Chemistry is about a woman perceiving that she
and a guy are "naturally compatible" because her emotional
and physical sparks fly when she meets or is around
that guy."

Now let's talk about Sexual Tension.

Sexual Tension is about the interaction.

It's that feeling you get when you're in the presence
of someone you're attracted to, but there are OBSTACLES,
ANTICIPATION, HUMOR, and/or other ingredients in the
mix that both increase the ATTRACTION, and increase
the TENSION in the situation.

Sexual Tension is the combination of being pulled
toward someone, but also feeling resistance at the
same time.

It's about not knowing what's going to happen,
but being on the edge of your seat WANTING to know
what's going to happen.

Think of it this way...

If a woman KNOWS that she has you right from the
beginning, she won't be as interested... this is why
so many guys kill their chances with a girl instantly
by going "overboard" and doing too many things to
demonstrate his interest.

But if she DOESN'T know whether or not you're interested,
and you keep the mystery up, while making her more
and more interested, she will think about you ALL
THE TIME.

This is creating Chemistry, and increasing the
Sexual Tension.

Will a woman feel more ATTRACTION for a guy who
always talks to her when he sees her, always calls
her, and is always available?

No.

She'll feel more attraction if he's more mysterious,
challenging, and unpredictable.

Remember, Sexual Tension is GOOD for attraction,
not bad for it...

So let's talk about some great ways to create Sexual
Tension... which will NATURALLY lead to that magical
feeling of CHEMISTRY.

Here are a few of my favorite ways to create and
amplify Sexual Tension:


BE COCKY & FUNNY

Being Cocky & Funny, or using Cocky Comedy, is
a fun, interesting, enjoyable way to create and amplify
Sexual Tension.

The formula is:

Start with an arrogant thought, then add humor to
complete.

If you're standing in line waiting for your coffee,
and you notice an attractive woman behind the counter,
you could say "Hurry up, you're not working fast enough"
in a serious tone of voice.

That's arrogant. It's cocky. But it's not at all
FUNNY.

You'd sound like a jerk-off if you said that in
a cold way.

If instead you said "Hey, since you like me and
this line is always long, how about if I just walk
to the front from now on and you give me free coffee?"...

Now that's a whole different story.

If that same girl behind the counter goes to take
your money, and drops it, you could say "You're a
klutz, watch what you're doing".

If you did, you'd sound rude and stupid.

On the other hand, if you start shaking your head,
roll your eyes, and breath out through your nose loudly
in a dramatic way like you're completely annoyed with
her (in a funny way), you're going to make her laugh.

Good thing.

These are examples of being Cocky & Funny, or using
Cocky Comedy.


WAIT TO CALL HER

What do most guys do when they get a girl's number
or email address?

Right, then call or write three minutes later.

"Hi, it was great meeting you a few minutes ago...
so, what are you doing?"

OUCH.

Calling or writing a woman immediately is one good
way to destroy any anticipation or Sexual Tension
that was present in the moment.

On the other hand, if you call up two days later
and say "Hey, what up? I'm busy tonight, and tomorrow,
but let's do something on Friday. Here's my number,
call me... I gotta go..." that's a TOTALLY different
type of communication.

By day two, she's already wondering why you haven't
called, wondering if you're getting back together
with your ex that she's imagining being a model...
and generally beginning to wonder if and when you're
going to call.

Waiting builds tension. Do it. And do it after
the FIRST call as well. Learn to become comfortable
not knowing what's going on... and waiting to find
out. It's MUCH better.


TWO STEPS FORWARD, ONE STEP BACK

This is the ultimate formula for AMPLIFYING a woman's
anticipation, arousal, and interest in you.

Moving two steps forward, and one step back takes
Sexual Tension, and it DIALS IT UP.

The idea is simple:

Every time you make "progress" in a romantic way
with a woman, STOP. Then lean back.

For instance, if you have been talking to her,
and you start holding hands... after a few minutes,
TAKE YOUR HAND BACK.

Then lean back physically, and move away from her
for a little while.

If you wind up kissing a little while later, STOP
kissing her, and lean back again.

Get it?

Women don't get turned on quite the same way men
do.

Men are on/off switches.

Women are volume knobs... that need to be turned
up gradually.

If you show some self-control, make her feel good,
and then go two forward, one back you will give a
woman an experience she'll really enjoy, and won't
forget...


TEASE HER

Women LOVE teasing when it's done in the right
way.

Some people think of teasing as "making fun of"...

Now I DO love to make fun of women... but I'm talking
about a different type of teasing right now.

I'm talking about the type of teasing where you
give someone a LITTLE BIT of what they want, then
take it away so they want it MORE.

I'm talking about leaning in to kiss a woman, then
stopping right before you kiss her... so she can feel
your lips just about to touch hers, and then staying
there for just a moment...

...and then LEANING BACK.

You're teasing her.

You know that she wants you to kiss her, but you're
NOT kissing her.

You're in control, and she loves it, hates it, and
WANTS IT.

Teasing creates this Sexual Tension rapidly.

You can tease in many ways...

Next time you're buying something, when the girl
behind the counter reaches out to take your money,
put it in her hand, then quickly take it away as she
grabs it.

That's teasing.

It's fun, and you can use it almost everywhere
for the enjoyment of both you and her...


ANOTHER REAL-WORLD EXAMPLE

Let's say you and a woman are out together, and
you're enjoying your evening.

She decides to throw out one of those types of
questions that you're not expecting, but that seem
DESIGNED to throw you off...

She asks the question... "Do you think we'll ever
have sex?"

Now , most men will answer "I hope so" or "why,
do you want to?"

Sexual Tension KILLED.

She asks "Do you think we'll ever have sex"...

You answer "Only in your dreams... and calm down,
just because I'm out with you doesn't mean I'm going
to sleep with you"...

Sexual Tension AMPLIFIED.

When she asked the question, she was TESTING you...
she wanted to know if you were going to bite down
on the bait. She was finding out if you were REALLY
as in control as it seemed.

You either pass or fail those.

The more you watch for, listen for, and pay attention
to Sexual Tension, the more you'll begin to NOTICE
it.

And the more you NOTICE IT, the more you can start
to control it, amplify it, and direct it.


A FAVORITE WAY TO CREATE CHEMISTRY AND SEXUAL TENSION

I'm going to share a FANTASTIC technique with you
right now, so turn on your thinking cap, and remember
this one.

This is a great way to let a woman know that you
understand Sexual Tension and Chemistry, while at the
same time CREATING THEM.

Let's use a real-world situation.

Maybe you had responded to a few online personals,
and some women have written you back...

And lets say that one of the women said "tell me
more about yourself", etc.

Let's further say that in her online personal profile
she mentioned that she loved cats...

You might write her back, and say:

"Here's a litte more about me... I'm sitting on my
favorite chair, reading a magazine. You walk into
the room, and the air shifts... you slowly and carefully
walk up to where I'm sitting, and rub up against my
leg... I look down at you, and you look back at me...
"Meow", you say... I reach down, and gently stroke
your head... and you go running away... like a typical
kitty cat..."

If you are acting like a MAN, being Cocky & Funny,
communicating that you're in control of yourself and
the situation, etc., something like this can be MAGICAL.

A story like this one communicates sooooo many
things at once... things that would take you literally
weeks of "regular" communication to convey to her.

A little story like this one, at just the right
time can create so much Sexual Tension, and spark the
Chemistry so fast that you'll often INSTANTLY take
things to a different level with a woman.

Now, there's a very important factor that you MUST
understand...

You CANNOT do this, create a little story like
this, and try to use this way of talking to a woman
if you're acting like a WUSSY.

This can only be used in the context of you having
communicated that you're a MAN... and one that understands
ATTRACTION, at that.

If you try to do this kind of thing before you've
communicated that you're a masculine, powerful guy,
you're only going to make a woman RUN away.

So now that you understand Chemistry and Sexual
Tension... and finally had someone explain these amazing
concepts to you... what's the best way to learn the
other keys to making women feel ATTRACTION for you?

In fact, what's the best way to get the very best
education on how to become more successful with women
and dating available ANYWHERE?

My Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program is
the way.

This program was designed from the ground up to
show you every aspect of how to become more successful
with women and dating...

It will teach you everything from how to overcome
fear and shyness, to how to approach women and get
phone numbers, to how to get dates, to how to take
things to a "physical level" without rejection.

And I explain everything in plain, easy-to-understand
language, just like I explained to you how Chemistry
And Sexual Tension work in this newsletter...

The only difference is that you get to not only
hear me/see me live, but I get a lot more time to go
into DEPTH on all the issues.

It's like having me personally coach you through
all the steps, right in your home.

This is the program that I wish I had when I started
learning this stuff... it would have saved me at LEAST
a few YEARS and all kinds of hassle, money, and energy.

Go check it out. It will increase your success
with women and dating DRAMATICALLY.

All the details, plus some great free audio
and video samples are here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingSystem.com/e/AdvancedSeries/

And if you haven't downloaded my online eBook "Double
Your Dating" yet, then go and do that now. It's a
great introduction to my ideas and techniques. You
can download it now and be reading it in just a few
minutes from right now. It's here:

http://www.DoubleYourDatingSystem.com/e/eBook/

I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

How To Make Her Think About You

If you've seen the classic cult movie "Swingers", then you probably remember the part where the guys are discussing how long a guy should wait to call a woman after he's gotten her phone number.

The scene really hits home for a lot of guys because it gets down to a real-world situation that we all confront and ponder.

I get a lot of emails from guys asking me what to do in this very situation.

The more I've thought about it, the more I realize that this particular question (and the answer to it) are part of a bigger, more important CONCEPT about how to deal with women.

Let me explain.

When a guy asks me "How long should I wait to call her?" this immediately tells me a few things:

1) The guy doesn't feel like he's in control of the situation. If he felt like he was in control, then it he wouldn't ask, because it wouldn't matter.

2) The guy doesn't really "get" how male/female attraction works. If he did get it, then he'd be
thinking in those terms rather than trying to figure out the exact best amount of time to wait before calling.

To put it differently, the "when do I call her back?" problem is part of a bigger concept, and once you understand that bigger concept better, then you'll have an automatic feel for when to call a woman back.

Most guys don't "get" one simple point:

If you want a woman to feel ATTRACTION for you, then you must behave differently than if you want her to feel that "just friends" feeling.

In the world of ATTRACTION, things are completely different.

For instance, our moms taught all of us guys to "be nice" to women. This usually includes being sweet and complimentary when first meeting them, answering all of their questions directly, and giving them what they want when they want it.

But if you want a woman to feel that INSTANT GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION right from the beginning, then you're going to have to put aside this kind of thinking, and start learning some NEW ideas.

For instance:

1) A challenge is generally attractive to women.

2) Teasing and being evasive is generally attractive to women.

3) Making fun of a woman's appearance in a flirty way, as counter-intuitive as it might sound, can lead to ATTRACTION.

- By the way, psychology is one of my VERY favorite topics, and the psychology of creating attraction is FASCINATING. If you're as interested in it as I am, then you should check this out as well:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com


I'm trying to communicate the idea that when you're dealing with ATTRACTION, you have to put aside old "normal" ways of thinking and behaving.

I would like to mention one more point before getting into the specifics here...

These days, people are becoming very sensitive to having "techniques" used on them.

If a salesman uses a sales technique on us, we immediately get defensive and resistant.

If a panhandler asks for money in a way that smells of "tricks or "techniques" we pass them by
without pity.

If a business treats us like a "thing" or a
number instead of an individual person, we avoid
them or buy elsewhere.

We humans don't like having manipulation techniques used on us, and when we detect that someone or something is using one to get the better of us, we resist.

So let's get back to the "how long to wait before calling her back" issue.

If you think about it, every situation is slightly different. One time you might meet a woman in the morning at coffee, and another time you might meet a woman at a club at 1 in the morning.

If you wait too long to call her back, I think you run the risk of seeming like you're just using a technique on her and you come across as a player who's trying to do your thing on her.

When deciding how long to wait before you call or email, I think it's important to ask yourself this question:

"What will likely INCREASE THE ATTRACTION in this situation?"

Here are a couple of ideas I have used with great success:

1) Email instead of calling first. I personally email the next day. I'll start with a charming email to get the conversation started and then tell her that I'm going to call in a day or two. This has the effect of making contact with her relatively quickly, but still creating anticipation because you haven't actually talked.

2) Call the next day, and make a joke about the situation. I might call and say, "Yeah, I was watching Swingers and they said to wait three days to call, but I was kind of in more of a one day
mood..."

If you didn't get her email address and you MUST use the phone, just do your best to avoid being AVERAGE.

I personally believe that our attention spans as humans are getting shorter and shorter. We ave
more and more information coming in from television, newspapers and other sources - and we're getting cultural A.D.D. I think that if you wait too long, you're risking either being seen as using a technique, or risking being forgotten altogether.

But if you make the opposite mistake and call too soon (for instance a few hours later), you run
the risk of being seen as a needy Wuss who has no life.

In past newsletters, I have written about why it's important to leave immediately after getting a woman's email and/or number.

How long you should wait to call her back is a natural extension of this.

As a matter of fact, if you get a woman's email/number and then you keep coming over to talk to her, it can almost be seen as waiting 5 minutes to call her.

There's no anticipation, and it says all the wrong things.

A couple of other quick pointers for when you're making that first call:

1) Be busy. If you're going to ask her to join you for tea or something similar, make sure you mention two times that you're busy for every one time that you're available.

2) Don't linger on the phone. Make that first call short and to the point. If you stay on the phone for more than a few minutes, you're running the risk of getting into a normal "What do you do?", "Where do you live?", "Where did you go to school?" conversation. Avoid this.

To summarize, when in doubt wait a day or so to contact her again.

But more importantly, think about the situation in terms of anticipation and ATTRACTION, so when you do make contact it creates the correct context.

And now I have another question...

Do you enjoy learning the PSYCHOLOGY of how to create ATTRACTION with women? And do you enjoy learning the psychology of how to create more internal confidence... and how to overcome your "Inner Game" psychological issues?

Yeah, me too.

In fact, I think that the PSYCHOLOGY of success with women and dating is the MOST interesting part.

One more question...

Would you like to get an IN-DEPTH education in how to "fix" your Inner Game issues, and become the kind of man that women are searching for?

Of course, if you'd like to get my best thinking on how to deal with different situations and make a woman feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION for you, then you need to read my book
"Double Your Dating". It's full of all my best thinking and ideas about how to attract the kinds
of women that you've always wanted. Just go to:

http://www.DatingTechniques.com/eBook

I'll teach you the techniques I use personally to overcome fear, approach women, get phone numbers, and get dates... and even how I take things to a "physical" level with women.

Best part?

I'll send it to you to try at MY RISK...

Test it all out, and if it doesn't work, just send it back to me and I'll refund you, no hassles.



And I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

How To Start A Conversation With ANY Woman

Have you ever wondered why some guys can walk
right up to attractive women and start
conversations... but most guys can't?

I KNOW that you know what I'm talking about.

We all know guys who have the "talent" of
striking up conversations with women...
conversations that women actually ENJOY.

And even though they were just AVERAGE-looking
guys, women always found them SEXY... and wanted
to get to know them better.

Well, I honestly believe that I've unlocked the
SECRET KEYS that these guys use.

They will give you the confidence to walk right
up to a woman and start talking... and walk away
with her number and a "date" lined up... even if
you've NEVER done it before.

Here are just a few of the specifics you'll
learn in the program:

- The one word to say at the very beginning of
your approach that DOUBLES your chances of being
successful

- How to INSTANTLY stand out from every other man
that has ever approached her - so a woman knows you
are an opportunity she shouldn't DARE pass up

- The 10 things that PREVENT you from approaching
women - broken down and explained (I had to deal
with each one of these 10 things personally - if
you're having problems starting conversations with
women I GUARANTEE one of them is on this list -
AND that I can show you a quick and easy way to
ELIMINATE IT.)

- A surefire way to completely eliminate that
sinking feeling you get when you see a woman you
want to approach (Use this one "in the field" to
get yourself back on track FAST.)

- A lesson from early humanity that will help you
completely destroy your fears of approaching women
FOR GOOD

- The real "genetic" reasons we are afraid of
approaching women (When you know what they are, it
is almost too easy to dispel these fears FOR
GOOD.)

- How to completely reprogram your subconscious
and turn yourself into a "machine" that approaches
any woman - anytime- in ANY situation - without
even thinking about it

- and much more...

I suggest you try this program.

37 yrs old and have been divorced for 7 yrs

I may be a little skeptical, but I am 37 yrs old and have been divorced for 7 yrs. Although I have been told many times that I am an attractive guy I have had one date in the last 3 years, and I think it is because I am also overweight. I am 6'1" and weigh around 340 lbs. I am convinced that women these days are not attracted to big guys like myself. I am also one of those "nice guys". Do you really think that this cocky funny attitude that I have been reading about would really work for a guy like me? I am willing to try anything at this point

D.E.
Scranton (Pa.)


>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, I think it would DEFINITELY work for you. In fact, I think it will work for anyone who applies themselves and figures it out.

We each have our own particular situation in life. No two are the same.

Some guys are rich and look like Brad Pitt, some guys are older and gray, some are overweight, some are bald, and some are inexperienced.

We each have our own strengths, weaknesses, and particular challenges in life.

This is one of the great things about being alive.
We get a particular hand dealt to us, and it's one of the great joys in life to figure out how to best
play it.

Honestly, from the way you explained yourself, I think that you're unhappy with your weight. In other words, it sounds to me like you've got MENTAL limitations and self-image issues... so simple techniques alone probably aren't going to solve your whole problem.

I'll bet that if you start working on your weight, while at the SAME TIME practicing the techniques you've learned here with women, the COMBINATION will yield better results.

When you improve two or more areas of your life at the same time, you'll find that you often have far better than just twice the results. But try to solve problems at the root, and not just at the branch level alone.

Very nice comment from a sharp woman

***COMMENT FROM WOMAN***

Dear David,

Remember the woman that had a friend that wanted to slap the sh** out of you - you know, the crack pipe chick? That woman was right about one thing - someone needs to get slapped.

She does and so do all of her milk toast, clueless and probably dog-ugly friends! How in the world did she get "lesbian" twisted into all of that? I read the e-mail for crying out loud, and it sounds to me like this girl's in a slump that makes the Devil Rays look like World Series contenders.

Injure a woman's delicate psyche? Give me a break. I hope you guys out there don't believe a word of this girl's whiny crap. If your girlfriends agree with her, I hope you don't mind turning squishy and you better find a good recipe for strawberry daiquiris and start planning for a life filled with tupperware parties and purse shopping.

Let me set all of you guys straight who might still possibly be on the fence at this point. Get David's book. I haven't read it yet - I'm still crackin' up over the newsletter. I'm an attractive woman architect who works in a man's world and would have it no other way! I'm athletic, but still feminine. I'm pretty conservative and don't cuss (anymore) so I'm proof that it's not just the rough women that get turned on by the sport of a challenging male. David's right - I have a lot of male friends and most of them want to be more than friends. I could never put my finger on it before I started reading David's newsletters - they were nice and I've certainly dated guys that weren't nearly as good looking as them, but it's clear to me now. My guy friends are wusses. Cocky + funny = SEXY! Don't ask me why, just do it. I wish more of you would.

By the way, David, the chicks out here that read (and appreciate) your newsletter, need a formula, too.

Sincerely,

ks in Kansas City


>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, first of all, WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU INCLUDE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

I was just thinking to myself:

"You know, it sure would be great to meet an athletic, feminine woman with a good job... maybe an architect or something."

I don't know about the conservative, no cussing thing... maybe I could adapt.

But to my credit, I'm NOT squishy, I have NO IDEA how to make a strawberry daiquiri, and I hate purse shopping. I do, however like to host an occasional tupperware party.

Think about it and get back to me.

Oh, back to your comments...

Thank you for writing in and providing another perspective. I wish that more women would be as open and honest about what attracts them.

I personally think that women like you who have their lives together are too busy ENJOYING life to take the time out to teach the mass of WUSS-BAG men out there how to stop with the purse shopping and tupperware.

Thanks again for your email... I love sharp, honest women.

Why Women Don't Like AVERAGE Men

The idea is simple: We humans don't want what everyone else has... we want what everyone else has AND MORE. In the context of women and dating, it goes like this:

WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO GUYS THEY PERCEIVE AS AVERAGE.

Remember, ATTRACTION doesn't make logical sense...

Women don't say "Oh, he's a kind, honest, loyal type of guy from a good family... AND THAT REALLY TURNS ME ON."

Nope.

Women say things like:

"He's sexy"... "There's chemistry between us"...
"I really feel something for him"... etc.

And also remember: If a woman feels a strong ATTRACTION for you, then the rest of the equation isn't as important. If she feels it, she'll go out of her way to find good reasons to be with you... even if you're not her "physical type".

On the other hand, no amount of gifts, favors, dinners, kindness, or a good family will make her
feel ATTRACTION... at best these things can only make her feel a more "loyal" kind of love.

So if women don't like "average" guys, and the most important thing is to make her feel ATTRACTION towards you, then how do you do it?

I thought you'd never ask...

First, let's talk about the word "average" and what it REALLY means.

As far as women are concerned, and especially the ATTRACTIVE ones, men are EVERYWHERE. They're like cars. Every once in awhile one stands out and makes you say "Oh, that one is nice."

A lot of guys take this concept too far and say "Well, I'm not rich, and I'm not famous... so no really hot woman is going to find me attractive."

My experience and research has shown me that women are far more ATTRACTED to things like attitude, confidence, body language, humor, etc. than looks or money. Sure, those things might INITIALLY get a woman's attention, and there are those women that will only settle for a rich or unusually handsome guy... but this is the extreme minority.

In fact, it's very easy to be seen as "above average" if you know what women are looking for, and
you know how to deliver.

Remember the danger: If you are perceived as "average" early on, then a switch goes off in her
mind, and the game will be over before it's even begun.

So let's do a little exercise...

Let's figure out two things:

1) What most guys do that women see as "average", and...

2) What you can do to instantly be seen as "ABOVE average" and, most importantly, ATTRACTIVE.

First, let's talk about what most guys do in most situations (more specifically, what most guys
do WRONG). Here are some of the things that I've seen...

If the setting is a bar or a club, most guys will either say "Can I buy you a drink?", "Wanna
dance?", or "Hey baby, how YOU doin'?"... or they do crass things like stare at women with wanting eyes or grab them as they walk by.

If the setting is a public place, like maybe a woman working at a clothing store, a waitress,
or some other similar high-traffic situation, most guys will ask a lame question like "Do you have
a boyfriend?" or "Can I take you out sometime?"

Ugh.

These kinds of approaches can only result in you being seen as another lame, average guy.

Here are a few ideas to try instead...

If you're in a bar or club setting, try asking a woman or a group of women THEIR OPINION on something.

I personally like this one:

"Hey, my friends and I were talking and we need a female perspective... What do you ladies think about this new trend of women being proud of paying their own way and buying their own things? Like the Destiny's Child song "Independent Woman?"

Women will usually ENTHUSIASTICALLY join into a conversation like this one. (I personally like this topic because it starts off by talking about women taking care of themselves in a positive light, which sets the stage for not having to pay for a lot of things right up front!)

If you're out in a public place, at a store where a woman is working or some other high-traffic place, you might try something like this:

After chatting about whatever business you're doing there, say "Hey, are you single?"

I love this question! It's such a shocker, and it says all the right things. Most guys say "Do you
have a boyfriend?" which is the usual question. "Are you single?" is much more forward, and most women have to do a double take to think for a moment.

If she pauses, I say "I'll take that as a YES...", which is pretty funny and usually gets a laugh.

In either of these cases, it's now time to get the digits and get out. You already know that I'm
not a fan of standing around and trying to keep a conversation going for any longer than you have to.

So after two or three minutes of small talk and general conversation, just go into the "3 Minute Phone Number" close that you've learned in an earlier newsletter or in my book...

Say "It was nice talking to you, I'm going to get back to my friends... (or shopping, or whatever)"
and as you turn away, turn back and say "Do you have email...?" etc.

These two scenarios are obviously very simple, and also very easy. I've had guys say to me "Well, there's nothing really that different about those approaches."

Ah, but there is.

The most important difference is that you're doing something COMPLETELY different than the other 47 guys who have approached her that day... and you also know EXACTLY what you're going to do and say and the conversation progresses.

Of course, another thing you can do that will INSTANTLY separate you from the rest of the crowd is to use the idea of being "Cocky and Funny", which I teach in my eBook "Double Your Dating" and in my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.

This very unique approach has helped many of my thousands of readers to dramatically increase their success with women... and to be no longer seen as AVERAGE by women.

If you haven't learned how to use the almost MAGICAL formula of being Cocky & Funny, or any of the literally hundreds of other techniques I teach, then you really need to get yourself a copy of my online eBook and a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques program.

These two tools will DRAMATICALLY increase your success with women and dating.

You can download my online eBook here right now:

http://www.doubleyourdating.net/ebook/

So go out this week, and DON'T BE AVERAGE ANY MORE.

Talk to you soon.

Your Friend,

David D.